CROCK POT LESSONS

"Something's still cooking." "God still has something in the oven". "A church is being prepared SOMEWHERE." Why is it that God always has to use things that are so tempting to me...like food? I suppose that He wants to use the things in my life to which I can relate! I need to remind myself that I am like a frozen piece of meat, wondering how it could ever be of use to anyone. It is hard and cold, wrapped up and often not even obvious to others what it really represents. If it were placed in a microwave for quick preparation, it would be cooked, most likely. Yet, the difference in the end result would be very obvious to those who tried to enjoy it. There would probably be parts that were finished cooking, while some areas were still frozen. Some parts would appear to be overdone, yet not even edible. The joy of the crock-pot lesson is taking a frozen object, hard, completely useless and just sitting back and waiting. At the end of the day, you can remove the lid and possibly never even realize it was the same thing with which you initially started. The aroma is enticing beyond the area where it sits...often penetrating through the neighborhood.

At the times I feel impatient, help me to remember that I want to be aromatic and useful to those who may choose to lift the lid of my life and peek in my crock-pot!

I read tonite from HUGS for Friends:

Crisis breeds camaraderie.
It turns total strangers into cherished confidants.
We're relieved to discover someone whose experience bears
a striking resemblance to our own.
It gladdens us to know we're not alone!

This is Soooo very true. I believe that God allows things to occur in our life so that when all is said and down, we will be able to be a warrior for someone else. A prayer warrior, a giving warrior, a listening warrior. I hope that I will be one who represents strength and character and shines forth as a mighty, winning warrior.

Today Tom met with a pastor of a church. It is a small church but in need of someone. Tom will help as an Interim through the month of January. We had so many people tell us last night that

"God is preparing a place for you"
"God is preparing you for a place"
"It is still 'cooking'"

WE BELIEVE , WAIT and HOPE!

I will be a warrior in the battle that I fight
A hand to hold, a prayer to say, to help you through the night
I pray for wisdom to see and feel
On your behalf to Him I kneel
The same I know, you'd do for me
That you would pray "God's Will To be"
Our friendship strengthened though all is hard
We have no doubts our lives HE'LL guard

As I've said so much before
You alone knows what's in store
I try to think how it will be
To look for you, your hand to see
I know that all I have is yours
That you will open all the doors
Give me strength to trust your grace
To know your heart and seek your face
You will meet our needs each day
When we seek to see Your way.

Today was a beautiful day! I must admit I felt like I needed roller skates for all that I was involved in this morning. We started out playing handbells, joined the choir for the procession, went to the orchestra to play flute, sang with the choir and returned to handbells (did I indicate that we played from the BALCONY!!!) At any rate, it was alot of running around! We went out after church to a mexican restaurant with some friends and also our daughter. We made it back to the church just in time for the children's musical, which was done in 'dessert theatre' style! After the musical, there was a reception for Tom and me. It was sooooooo nice! There were lots of hugs and tears! It was so evident that the people love us. The choir gave us a monetary gift, as did the church as a whole. GOD IS SO GOOD!! He knows our needs and has already gone above and beyond our expectations!

.

Has it been a week since I blogged :-(?? I hate that! I so often feel like Paul in that the things a I want to do I don't do and the things I don't want to do, I DO!
I will say that I was EXTREMELY grateful, thankful and appreciative for TWO contracts that I recceived today. I know that I have said it before, but it completely amazes me that anyone finds my writings of any interest. But I am glad that someone is touch occasionally. Thank you Matt, for your confidence and trust in me! YOU KNOW that it does my heart good...as well as our wallets!

We are headed now to our Sunday School Christmas party. I have baked cookies and other goodies and broccoli cheese casserole! We are actually running late! =-duh! so by the time we get there we'll probably on dessert!! Oh well!

well, once again, I'm on a resolution...pre-New Year that I will be a better blogger...TIME WILL TELL!

Its Saturday and has been a nice day. Ive been keeping Madison, Chase's sister. She is 2 and reminds me so much of the days when I used to keep Catherine. I think its times like this when I am reminded of some of the joys of motherhood that I had to miss because of work obligations. Then I got a 'second wind' of that when I kept Catherine. That experience with her convinced me that 2 children were all God meant for me! Now, I suppose with Madison, I have the chance to think about what Grandparenting will be like! WOW, now that in itself is a scary thought!! I feel like physically and most of the time mentally that I could actually have another baby...but fortunately for all involved, GOD does not see me as a Sarah!

We will have our Christmas Musical tomorrow. It will be really good. Tom has a solo in it that literally brings me (and several others for that matter) to tears!! The words are sooooooo fitting for our situation. Here's the text:

THE PROMISE
by: Dave Clark and Mark Harris

I've been watching you
Holding on for me
Through the waiting and the wonder,
somehow you still believe if your faith is strong,
someday you will find,
it may not be like you expect it,
but I will come to you in a perfect time.
You may be waiting for the fire
when I'm calling through the rain.
You may be listening for thunder
while I'm whispering your name.
You may be searching for a sign
to let you know that it's ok
HOLD ON, Cause I'm on my way.

Isn't that incredible! THAT really is our prayer and our testimony! I DO believe and trust and we ARE HOLDING ON --because GOD IS on his way to do something spectacular in our life!

Well, I'm back here, I just couldn't quite get the hang of the Squarespace Blog area. Perhaps if I had more time to really look it over I would feel differently...And who knows, perhaps I will continue to investigate it or something else, but for now, at least I am blogging!
I am watching Josh Groban perform right now...He is such an amazing guy. What a beautiful voice. Another artist that I have just been turned on to is Gavin Degraw...you all should check out his website (www.gavindegraw.com)...he is so mellow and smooth. I can't wait to get his CD. It's bed time for me ... I will blog more tomorrow.

http://dianebarden.squarespace.com/

Check this out and see if you get it!

I've set the TV remote on mute
But the sounds are still here
I need to release myself to quiet,
Silence, meditation
Don't let my ears be on mute
But let me hear you loudly
Clearly, distinctly
Let the channels of my life be completely tuned in to You
Fuzz, distortions and squiggly lines will be eliminated by Your fine tuning
I will trust you to be my Chartered Communicator and the
Timeless Warner of every event that crosses my path.

I'm so ready for christmas vacation--and yet I realize that I have so much to do before that happens...There are Christmas parties, Musicals, church events, our reception...and on and on...I received a picture today from my brother and family and I really do miss them. Perhaps God is preparing us to go there...Shoot, at this point, I just wish I knew he was preparing us FOR SOMEWHERE. I know I shouldn't be depressed, but sometimes it just overwhelms me. I try to be strong...and will continue. I gave a lady I work with a ride home today and she said..."I'll be glad when you can look back and understand."...ME TOO!!

Once again, as it seems to happen so often (and more frequently here lately)...I have been in a BLOG FUNK....I suppose that as made so obvious by other readers, that my friend Matt Tullos has once again inspired. He has recently changed blog addresses and I suppose theres something to be said for a new look, a new freshness of something as simple as a blog site. In fear of being labled a copy cat (Moi?? the independant female?? Hmmm???) I may have to give his site time to settle in before I investigate myself. I will say I'm a little put out with this one, because it apparantly won't let me continue to add blogs without dropping some of the earlier ones. I think Matt has addressed this previously.

Well, I am the only one up on this last Saturday in November. Would you call it the first Saturday of Advent?? I am due a hair trim and will head there shortly. Today is also the day to put up the Christmas Tree! WHOOPIE!! In years past, I have literally LEFT HOME and let it be done when I return. There's something about the MESS from dragging it down from the attic that sends my body and brain into a psychotic fit! However, over the last few years, I have TRIED to not focus on that, but on the now limited years we have left as a family to do this....Hmmm could there be something to look forward to ... the little ceramic tree that is 2 feet tall???

I am also in a bit of shock and some of that will spill over into my holiday mode. I received word yesterday that the husband of some close friends (well, I suppose they weren't as close over the last few years, especially after our former church separation) DIED SUDDENLY! He was changing his daughters tire, got the first lug nut off and then "KEELED OVER!" (that's Killed over for the non-southerners). SO TRAGIC...He was early 40's and the father of 2 young adults. My heart aches for his family! He is at peace, but they are not at the present time I am sure.

Did I say I was in a BLOG FUNK...perhaps this lengthy note has made up somewhat....I WILL DO BETTER!!

Today was an exciting day as far as potential church prospects. I decided to call the church that had attempted to call yesterday. I asked if they had a Minister of Music and upon finding out they didn't, I asked about emailing a resume. Not long after I'd sent it, the pastor called and had a few questions, but seemed very anxious to talk to Tom when he returns on Wednesday. I called Tom and of course, he is excited. Then, Tom's dad called after having been driving through a rest stop in SC and found out that the lady working there was a member of a Baptist church who was without a Minister of Music. Pop called very excited about it and so I will be following through tomorrow with it. I also sent out the video to the TX church and we will be praying that God opens just the right door for us.

Today we didn't go to our church because they were voting on the prospect Music guy. We ended up going to Jared's church and it was really good. The pastor spoke on how it is so much more easy to Praise God in the Good times rather than the bad - DUH! We sang just before the message "BLESSED BE THE NAME" - where it says "You give and take away, My heart will choose to say, Lord Blessed be your name". We were all challeneged to remember that GOD IS GOD and that we should Decide in in advance to Decide to TRUST in GOD'S FAITHFULNESS...
Also this afternoon, a church called rerquesting a videotape of Tom. I PRAY that this may be the place God desires for us. It's only about an hour from my mom and brother.

Although I can not see you
I know you are here
Although I can not hear you
I know you are near
Although I can not feel you
I sense your peace
Although I can not Understand
I know I can trust you
I see you in your word through friends of the past
David
Issaih
Peter
Paul
I feel you in prayer through friends of the present
Susan
Matt
Jim
Betty
Lynne
Randy
I know that you are giving peace
I know that you are giving promises
I know that you are granting patience

I know that you are preparing our future

Today was a pretty tough day at church! This was the day that the announcement was made about the prospective Minister of Music and his visit to the church this week. We are still so amazed at what could possibly be the aspect that they are looking towards in this choice. Is he younger? Older? Does he have hair? Is he more talented musically? We just don't know!! All we know is that for some reason, someone ELSE has been chosen. I can't begin to tell how many people came to us all morning asking us questions, sharing their frustrations and disappointment--emotions that we too, all to well could understand. As much as we wanted to breakdown and cry, all we could do was hold our head up high with integrity and believe that because GOD IS GOD, our future is in HIS hands.

Tom's dad and his lady friend, Doris were there visiting today from Florida. Needless to say, they felt a little strange in the middle of all of today's events. Pop said that he wanted to tell the pastor what a mistake they were making, but of course he didn't, and we were glad. As hard as this is, we MUST believe that God does not create mistakes.

This will be a strange week that we will not be able to go on Wednesday nite or Sunday. This was mandated to us, and understandably so. I am sure that the new man would feel somewhat strange if we showed up. Regardless, he will be in our prayers and we KNOW we will be in the prayers of many.

I have had so many letters of encouragment over the last few days. So many people realize that our days at FBC are numbered. We love those people, our family and yet, once again we have to leave and venture out and continue our journey. I am continueously praying that God will answer our prayer to find a place to serve before long.

I received a great letter today from my brother and sister - in - law. They want to pay our expenses to come out there for Christmas! WOW how incredible!! It's been 2 years since we've seen them so this is a really special gift that they are doing not only for Christmas but for my birthday (tomorrow). We are having to wait until after we hear about the new prospect and when he will come to the church.

As always - if you read this, please pray for God to answer us soon.

A Dream...
Have I already said that I feel like I'm in a dream??? I just read our church bulletin announcing the man to come....it still seems kinda like I'm dreaming all of this...Hmmm when will this make any sense??

Tonite was the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT nite!! The choir was informed tonite that next week, they will have a new person here to work with them who will also be there the following Sunday in view of a call. My hope is that someone will feel for us, for our feelings and what we will do next. My hope is that someone will determine to pray for us and commit to hold us up for God to give us the place he desires for us to serve. I just pray that God will open the door for us and that it will happen while we are still at this church. I continue to think about what will we do if we're without a place to be seen by another church.

God I pray that you would let me not be concerned about the pety things or the things that I think I should expect to happen in our future. I pray that my faith would be strong and evident. I have to remember that of my Spiritual Gifts, Faith and encouragement are mine...Please let me exhibit that and not be a poor example.

I have really become slack over the last few days. Initially, I was just tired, lazy and all those other excuses, and days went by. I will say this, that God (as if we didn't know this) is always so good about giving us some encouragement prior to our need of it. We may THINK we know why we are hearing some special word or something, but not until later do we often realize all the 'why's'. I can say that with an ASK ME HOW I KNOW reality. This weekend I was BLESSED to get to attend the Women of Faith Conference in Charlotte. I just thought that I knew why God wanted me there...to encourage me through all we've gone through over the last year in Tom's loss of a church and to remind me THAT THERE IS HOPE in our savior. I didn't realize that this was going to be encouragement needed and necessary for the next few days.

Sunday was a very tough day! I left the first service in TEARS because of the sermon. It was all based on "KNOW YOUR GIFTS". Learn what your gifts are and how God wants you to use them. I sat there and cried as I internally screamed out to God "I KNOW, WE KNOW our gifts. We know what you've called us to and we know how you have so generously enabled us to fullfill them---BUT WHERE??? Where do we do it!! Then between the 2 services, the pastor approached Tom and said "The committee has worked faster than I expected and we have a man coming to work with the choir a week from Wed, and to be voted on the following Sunday -11/14" Tom slipped me a note to that effect during the beginnging of the 2nd service sermon. I was already struggling with how I was going to listen to that again, and NOW I am really gonna struggle!

I am just so confused - and YES, I KNOW that God is NOT the author of confusion. I KNOW all the words and songs to give encouragement, but sometimes they just seem like like letters that have been thrown up in the air and landed in somesort of illegible formation. I was also reminded that others are crying out to God as well so I shouldn't think my concerns are the most significant. I realize they are important to God, but I also know that others, like my dear friend whose daughter is in jail, are also crying out to God. She shared some very wise words to me that I hope to remember and ultimately use as a writing tool....

God, please help me to remember that I don't need to try to tell you how to write the script for my life!

It's been a busy week trying to play catch up after being gone all week. So far, I've not been too overwhelmed. Tomorrow is going to be an exciting day!! I am going to Charlotte to attend the Women of Faith conference with my best friend from high school. I am glad that we're going! I've not seen her in probably 3 or 4 years...but like with many best friends, you pick up as if no days have passed. Lynne and I are so much alike. I think that even though I'm not a "astrological" person, there HAS to be something to our "SCORPIO" personalities. Even when we talked tonite, we both described the same outfit that we'd wear! Amazing. One big difference with Lynne is that she has a 3 year old little girl (named after me, as my daughter is named after her). We both have grown kids and her oldest daughter is even married. Amazing how life continues to go on and on.

Well, I am home!! After a long, busy, fun and somewhat relaxing week, I am home! We had an incredible time as we began our adventure in New York City! What an amazing town! We were so shocked that all the horrible things and preconcieved ideas that we'd always heard about New Yorkers was thrown out the window! We really were shocked that people were nice and friendly and often so much more so than the South Floridians that we were used to. None the less, it was great. We were moved at the sight of Ground Zero as we overlooked it from our Hotel. We continued on the next day to join the thousands of others for the next week throughout Canada and New England. I can't even begin to tell all of the things we've experienced. The colorful leaves, the crisp cool air...all of it was amazing.

My trip was interrupted with some of the most shocking and devastating news I could have ever invisioned. I received an email telling me that a friend of mine in my choir, handbell group and the daughter of one of my best friends at church was arrested for trying to hire a hitman to kill her husband. She was going to pay the man $10,000 to kill him. The unbelievable part was that the Wednesday nite before my trip we were sitting at church supper as usual and she began talking too about a 'surprise trip' she was taking her husband on. I think back at it and have the strangest feeling wondering if she was planning a vacation that the surprise was to be that he never came back! How terrible to think that she has lost an amazing job at a country club, a very sweet and providing husband, two beautiful precious boys and now her freedom. As it stands now, she has no bail available and not many are able to see her. Even her mother has told her that she need not try to lie herself out, but admit it and take what is coming to her. Please pray for this family. The woman arrested is Laura Overton and her mother and step father, my dear dear friends are Becky and Scott McCrary. Thanks for your prayers.

Tonite is the NIGHT BEFORE my big trip with my Aunt Lolo!! She is taking me with her on a cruise to Canada and New England. I will go to work for just a couple hours tomorrow and then head to the airport en route to Ft. Lauderdale. I will stay with Lois over nite and we'll head for NY. I am excited about going to NY. I've never been before and I think it will be a fabulous trip. We will leave NY on Sunday on the Grand Princess which I think is a bigger ship than we've ever sailed.

If you read this, say a prayer for Tom as he will have a committee in our Sunday service to observe. We pray that God will open the door for us if it is his will. We are completely seeking that and trusting him!
I probably will be out of commission until Sunday 10.24...Thanks for your prayers...Blessings to all my blogger friends!

God Answers Prayers.
We know that and we believe that.
But I was reminded today that he doesn't always answer the way we hope.

My prayer this morning was:

"Please God, let us find out something about Tom's job - one way or another. Let us find out something. You know I'm going out of town all next week and I'd love to know something."

My answer came this afternoon.

"The pastor called and he and the committee chairman want to meet with me this afternoon."

The only problem was my answer wasn't the ultimate answer I'd hoped for. Yes, we found out something 'one way or the other',

but the answer was:

"You've been a great healer for our music ministry, however..."

Say no more, I knew the end result. As much as they love us (their words), we still for some reason aren't what they're looking for! They haven't found anyone else, but they just aren't selecting us. I have very strange and mixed feelings.

Sad
Depressed
Discouraged
Dissapointed
Rejected
Used
Hurt

I understand that I shouldn't feel this way, that I should be happy and excited that God is going to work in some other way. For some reason, that's just not happening yet. Perhaps it will. I hope it will, I pray it will.

Father, give me the comfort and encouragement that I need in an abandoned moment. Bring me a sense of security and confidence that you really do have our best interest at heart. I am at a point where I have NO CHOICE but rely completely on you....Have I not been this way for over a year???

I got up this morning thinking that it would be my typical Saturday...Coffee, Today Show, Grocery List and ultimately REAL COFFEE (Starbucks) and the Grocery Store. I have no doubt that those things will eventually come to pass. There was this morning, however, one small difference. Tom has been preparing and has now completed a long over due video tape as a resume type tape. I had procrastinated in watching it because I am never really impressed with those types of things because the quality generally diminishes the truth to what really is intended to be seen. At any rate, I turned it on to watch in order to be able to say when he gets up, "Oh, I watched your tape and it is fine." (Knowing that I couldn't be truthfully honest because he would feel that I was being critical of his long hours of efforts). Unbeknownst to me, I was terribly disturbed, saddened and extrememly emotional. I sat in the floor and wept and prayed to God, asking through my tears, "WHY, WHY, why is it that you know our hearts and the passion that we have for these youth? Why is it that you know the gifts and abilities that we have in communicating with them? Why is it that we have the unusual ability to relate to them and draw out from them things that other directors so often do not understand?" I continued to watch as the youth sang, performed their dramas, dowel rod routines and laughed and smiled as they genuinely enjoyed what they were doing. I do not understand! As much as I desire to and really do trust God and his ultimate wisdom, my heart still aches. Sometimes I feel like the man in the Bible who questioned why the man had been born blind. "Rabbi, who sinned this man or his parents." Then God quietly reminded me (even just this moment as I cross referenced this passage for accuracy) "Neither this man or his parents have sinned. But this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." WOW! My '2x4' has just been relocated upon my head!

An emotional morning already??? YES!
An impacting morning already??? ABSOLUTELY!
I am in a growth experience and Growing pains are just that, PAINFUL. Yet in the midst of pain, there is growth! I KNOW that when God is ready, and maybe more importantly when He feels WE are ready, great things will continue to happen.

Oh God, you know the desires of our heart
You promised to fullfill those desires when we commit to you
We commit to you
We wait for you
We desire to see you at work in us
above and beyond our expectations

This morning's devotion was beautiful! I have said before that I literally pray each day as my feet roll toward the floor that God would let it be worth my while to get up. I can say with sincerety that more times than not, God knocks my slippers off with in the first five minutes! This morning was about Abraham and his faithfulness to God, even though he was almost dead! He believed God no matter what the situation or circumstance appeared. All of this was based on the theme of "Remaining positive in Negative situations" I pray that God will keep me positive and that I would be a witness and an example of God's faithfulness in My life.

I watched the video tonite with deep sadness. It's hard to believe that she stood there that particular Christmas sharing a testimony of how her son had been born with such severe problems that he wasn't expected to make it through the night. Amazingly enough, he survived, but she was dead herself by the next Christmas. No one would have realized that she would have had something to happen to her that has not yet ever been determined . She spoke of the miracle of the life of her son, yet her life was taken. How do you explain that to the son? How does her husband understand the choice of life? Questions to one day ask our Father.

Once again I am just hanging out--waiting for SOMETHING to write about. I have done nothing this afternoon other than wash clothes and dry and fold. I did go to Goodwill (YES GOODWILL!!) and found some GREAT deals to add to my collection of clothes for my trip. I found 2 pair of Eddie Bauer cordoroy pants and 3 shirts--All of which had been marked to $1.99 because they had orange tags and today was half price orange tag day!
Thank you Lord for the simple, small blessings...even at a thrift shop! I really do love a deal! Thank you for sending them my way.

You are my gift
Hannah's story

What do you mean? Elkanah! How could you even ask me why I am crying? Have you not seen her or heard her? Penniah intentionally gloats and boasts herself. She is without question the rudest, most self centered woman in Epharim. Every year when we come to Shiloh, I have to prepare myself for what will happen. It never gets any easier! I approach the alter and everything appears fine, but when she sees that I have received twice as much as all the other family, she starts in. "Here you are girls. This is your meager part" She says to her daughters. "Don't let it bother you that daddy gives HER more. She only gets more because he feels so sorry for her! Poor Hannah! What a pity!. How disgraceful to think the Lord won't let her have children. I wonder what she did to make God so angry. Maybe it's not just what she's done to God, but what she DOESN'T do with her husband that makes HIM angry. HA! I'm just glad that I can take care of Elky!"

SO, you see, Elkanah, no matter how much you say I am supposed to feel loved, my heart still is so very sad. Yes, It's fine for you to head home. I must stay and pray a while.
Oh God, All I can do is lay here by the door and weep I can not bear the thought of leaving here knowing that in a year I will be return to face this all again. I will leave here today, but will still have to face her daily as she makes it her goal in life to torment me! Please God, I beg of you and plead to you to hear me. I have nothing to offer to you except for the very thing I ask of you. I would offer you the most precious and valuable possession I had to prove my gratitude. If you would, somehow, would you find favor in me? My son will be YOUR son. I will give him back to you without a hair on his head being touched. He will know from birth that he was my gift from Jehovah Jireh!

Eli, I'm sorry, I didn't hear you come in. Of course, I am not drunk! How could you think that. You know me better than that! I have been pouring out my heart and my soul to God and I believe that He has heard my prayer and that He will answer me in his mightiness. I will go in his peace, trusting in him alone.

O Samuel, Samuel. It breaks my heart to let you go. But I made a vow, a promise to the living God! You are my gift, my promise from God of his unending love for me. Even your name Shemuel means God has heard. Because I know that God has heard and I have answered, I also believe that God will take care of you. Who knows, maybe one day you will grow to be a king or a priest or even a judge, but whatever you become, I know you will be special for God. Take it from your mother. Don't ever give up on your dreams. Pour your heart out to God, give yourself completely to him and I know as you grow He will speak to you and call you out. Listen for Him! I know you aren't ready to hear or understand this now, because you are so young, but you have my promise that as your mother, I will come to see you each year here. When we bring our gifts to the temple, I will also bring you a gift. I gift!, Yes, perhaps a robe that will remind you that God's robe of righteousness and protection will always be with you.
I never imagined my dear son how difficult this would be. But just as much as I know my prayers have been answered, I believe that God will comfort me and bless me because I have obeyed. Perhaps God will bless me with more children as proof that obeying him is never done in vain. Now, my dear Samuel, I leave you with Eli, the priest. He will love you and care for you. He will teach you many things to grow you into a man of God. Always remember that I love you and that you are my gift.

Colossians 3:12-15



Clothe Yourself With
Love
Kindness
Love
Humility
Love
Gentleness
Love
Patience
Love
Tolerance and Understanding
Love
Forgiveness
Love

Let Love Bind you together in Unity.
Let Christ's Peace rule your heart
We are called to Peace

....Thank you for your recent resume submission. Our committee, however, has reviewed it and determined after much prayer, that you are not in consideration as a candidate....
Yada Yada blah blah...now what...This is the 2nd letter like this. I KNOW that God is at work, but subconsciously, OK, outright, there is a feeling of rejection in this. I am confident that God has something more in store....Maybe that's my new slogan....

SOMETHING MORE IN STORE!

Sometimes I feel so alone, so depressed...
Sad
Down
Lonely
I often feel as if I am an outcast or a redhaired stepchild....
Out of place
Unwelcomed
Left out
People I should trust and on whom I should rely seem so Distant...
Not close
Far away
out of touch
No contact
Is there really anyone I can trust?...
My Abba
Jehovah Jirah
Prince of Peace
This is my confidence...
His word
His character
His Faithfulness
Continue to remind me...
Minute by minute
Hour by hour
Day by day
Week
Month
Year
FOREVER

I know that you know this already, God, but it nearly sends me over the edge when I call home and I hear in response to "what are you doing?"..."Nothing, just watching TV right now". Do you know how badly I'd like to throw it in the trash? Yes, of course you know. I don't know what I'd like him to be doing, but I just think that if it were ME at home that I'd find something to do...Mop, paint a wall, clean the litter box, work in the yard...SOMETHING!! I'm sure I could leave a list, but why should I treat a 47 year old 'adult?' like a teenager. No wonder my kids have no initiative to clean. I don't understand, I don't know what to do or say. This alone adds just one more reason to my repetitive request for him to have a job. At least I could justify his 'lackidazial" attitude as 'relaxing from a hard days work' or 'a break from a busy week at the office'. Why am I going through this God, I'm ready to feel like I've learned whatever we're supposed to learn. I've tried to keep my head up high and not give in to frustration. I dare not ask for patience! I know how that works, but just give me strength to handle this.

CATITUDES

• Live in peace and rest in windowsills
• Allow the Sun to beam down on you and remind you of the warmth of life
• Listen to your owner when he calls and respond, there's usually a treat.
• Eat your food and drink your water and remember, a little goes a long ways
• Don't be afraid to dip into the dog's water, it all comes from the same place
• Remember that just because the toilet lid is up doesn't always make the tempation worthwhile
• and finally, just because you think you scratch and cover the evidence, the stink still remains
  It is only when the owner cleans it out that it becomes renewed and usable.
  

Today has turned into an absolutely incredibly beautiful day. The sky is bright blue and there's an awesome breeze in the trees. I rode with the top down earlier today and it seemed so refreshing. It was very easy to get a glimpse of fall in the air. Sometimes I get stressed as this time of the year rolls around. It is without question, my most favorite time of the year, but in the same sense, the most hectic, worrisome and just overall stress-filled. As I watch my cat laid back in the window sill, I am reminded that I should have that same relaxed at peace attitude about my life. I should remember that I am supposed to 'cast my cares on HIM (Jesus)', the one who is responsible for every area of my life, both the weak and the strong areas. I am supposed to rest my concerns and anxieties at his feet and remember that he specifically said " Don't be anxious about anything" Anything includes jobs, finances, Christmas, and even just the day to day routines that I often call RUTS. I pray that as this busy season approaches that I might have a 'cat-like' attitude. I think I will create something called "Catitudes".

Events from the last few days...
We've watched intently at Ivan...Lisa and family are OK...Bridge at I-10 near her house collapsed - but they are fine.

Ivan is in our neighborhood. I am praying that he stays far away from my house! Tom is at a Rehearsal Camp for the Singing Churchmen and I am NOT a fan of storms!

I had some minor surgery on my forearm today to remove a cyst. The arm was locally numbed, and I am just now beginning to get some feeling back. Hmmm not real comfy.

Steak and Survivor nite! Tonite is the first nite of our ritual - Steak and Survivor Thursday.

We have been invited to attend the Connections luncheon at church in a couple Sundays. This is something that is for all prospective members. We've attended before as staff. I would love to think that we would be invited because we are going to be a permanant part of this fellowship!

Make my wiildest dream come true!! WOW!! Oprah really cut loose this time! I am going to try to see what I can create for her to make my dreams come true!!

A new car
A new house
College tuition
Money in the Bank

Keep me from being envious, God, of the things that happen to other people. Help me to be happy for others and to trust that YOU are my complete source for everything. Remind me that happiness is not found in money, fame, careers. I need to rely on you as the one who will fullfill my wildest dream!!

An amazing comparative....
I realize that God is not the author of confusion. There is, however, something very interesting that I just saw on television. While channel surfing (which I normal detest), I was somewhat fascinated with a 'Televangelist' who welcomed lines and lines of people waiting to see him. These people would tell this man of their sicknesses, problems or ailments. This man would tell them exactly what they wanted to hear, which was a diagnosis of their condition as well as a promise that through him, God would take away this particular problem. After a fierce thrust of his hand on their forehead, they would fall backwards into the arms of two bodyguard type 'elders'. Looking more like 'hit-men', they helped the people back to their feet while they began to cry and testify of their renewed ability to see, hear or smell. After having been entertained enough, I surfed again and ended up at the National Geographic Channel where the same type of activity was happening. This time, however, the man being approached wasn't there in his coat and tie, but rather a small wrap around his waist. He didn't don television makeup, but paint that symbolized a family tribe. His face was stretched with a piece of bamboo or somesuch item that had recently been pierced from one jaw to the other. This procedure made him worthy to receive "THE SPIRIT" which could drive out the evil spirits. This voodoo practice was done under the belief of 'their faith' in the voodoo god. Through many of the same type gestures as I'd previously seen, I again watched fellow painted warriors lift their hands weeping and wailing. They would be touched by this Tribe leader and would fall to the ground and then get up again appearing to no longer have a problem.

I can not help but wonder....If we were asked by a non Christian as to the difference in these two people, would we really know a valid and legitimate answer?
Exodus 7:11 - "Pharoah then summoned wise men and sorcerers and the Egyptian magicians also did the same things by their secret arts."

We just returned from the SC Creative Music and Worship Extravaganza. It was a really neat opportunity to get to visit with some collegues and dear friends. I attended several different classes although there was nothing there that pertained to writing, I still attended some interesting things. Some of the friends I was able to see were:
Jim and Louanne Tippens
Mark Blankenship
Pepper Choplin
Dennis and Nan Allen
Jeremy Lucas

We had an awesome concert with Pepper. He is absolutely HILLARIOUS on his parody works about choirs/leaders etc. We also observed a couple of choirs perform some of Dennis and Nan's collections. One of the best things we saw was a musical called "SOMEBODY'S PRAYING FOR YOU". What a powerful, powerful work!! I also attended Jeremy's Interpretive Movement class. That, was proof for me that I have TWO LEFT FEET!! It was uncomfortable for me, but because the music was my favorite! "WHO AM I", by Casting Crowns.

I was also priviledged to obtain a copy of my book that Jim Tippens and ON THE EDGE PRODUCTIONS have compiled. It was the first time I had seen it, and must admit that I honestly had forgotten that I'd written some of them! AMAZING

I'm tired now and am going to bed to prepare for a good day tomorrow. I will also add this footnote. It was so encouraging to talk with so many friends, primarily Tom's Singing Churchmen friends. So many offered words of encouragement and promises to pray for us and our future ministry. THANK GOD for fellow ministry friends!

Take away my doubts and fears
Reveal yourself and fade my tears
Earthly visions aren't all true
I trust YOUR heart, believing you
Let me feel that you are near
See proof today, my prayers you hear
Help me know I need not doubt
Negative thoughts, I must throw out
I want to live inside your will
So take these fears to calm and still

Today is an anniversary...
An anniversary of what we thought was going to be traumatic! Exactly one year ago today, at 5:05, Tom was officially unemployed! I can assure you that this time last year, we had no idea of what God had in store for us! We have seen incredible miracles that I honestly believe would never had happened had this not happened to us. Over this year we have had the priviledge of participating in 40 Days of Purpose. We have had the priviledge of participating and seeing successful results through FINANCIAL PEACE UNIVERSITY. And most of all we have had the joy of sharing our ministry with an incredible church. As I have written so much in previous blogs, our prayer is that God will honor the desire of our hearts and let us stay here. But no matter what, we have learned above all, to TRUST GOD and to remember that HIS WAS ARE NOT OUR WAYS, that HE KNOWS THE DESIRES OF OUR HEARTS and that HE KNOWS THE PLANS HE HAS FOR US. I look forward to continuing to write about our journey and look forward to the future that God has in store for us.

I believe that God created all things.
All creatures great and small are from His hand.
I will however, admit that I really DO NOT like the idea that I just smashed a spider crawling on my arm...
THAT FREAKS ME OUT!
Time to call the pest control people!!

Today I feel a little childish....
Everyone...Sing along...


Rain Rain GO away
Come again another day
All the folks are wet enough
Rain Rain Go away!



Man, we've had enough of Frances here today to scare anyone named Noah!!

Rain
Flash Floods
Tornado Watch
Tornado Warning
Mud
Smelly dogs (of course after just having a bath yesterday)
Squeaky shoes
Wet seats in the car

Shall we sing the song again?!?!?

OK....So the update is that Tom is one of four being considered for the job! He said the meeting went well and that the questions were varied from everything regarding ethics to Convention Politics. I really think, at least from what he said, that things went well. In my heart, I have to feel that as they have seen him and grown to know and love him that there has GOT to be some advantage there. It seems that his answering of the questions even reflected that. What I mean is that some of the questions could have easily been answered in an "Expected Baptist" answer. But he answered them very honestly and from his heart, which I think was to his advantage. I think that any other applicant may be prone to answer in what they THINK should be the acceptable or appropriate answer and not necessarily honest. I'm pleased with what I've heard about the meeting and just pray that God will help them act quickly and move this process along. Again, to any who may read, please continue to pray for God's PERFECT WILL for us!

I am sitting here now trying to resist my gut feeling to call Tom on his cell phone. He has been meeting with the personnel committee from church in regards to their interest in him as full-time Minister of Music. Since Oct 2003, we have prayed that if God would see fit, that we could have this position. We fully believe that God has promised to meet the desire of our hearts and we are anxious to see if this may be in his plan. Our hearts are so bonded to this church and we pray for the opportunity to continue if God sees fit. I pray that if any of you read this blog, that you will pray for God to answer our prayer positively and that my next entry will reflect that.

God, as I start today, I ask that you would help me as I work and handle things there. I pray for the ability to stay on task and finish my projects. As I type that sentence, I am reminded of my conversation with Chase and Rachel last nite. Father, you know, he is so creative and so talented and I couldn't be more proud of having him as a son-in-law one day. But you know, his brain thinks so fast. It thinks of so many things he wants to do. He wants to earn money (for as he says to have 'the best of everything') no matter what he has to do to get it. He is probably the hardest working person I know, especially to be young, and a man! The problem, as I told him is that his mind thinks so fast that he doesn't stop to finish his projects. He starts one thinking this is going to be his 'ticket' and the moment another starts, he's ready to roll to the next project. I told him last night the thing that scared me was that He would get so headstrong, in such a whirlwind to accomplish, that he does so without even questioning what YOU want for him! I told him that I didn't want him to 'fall' because 'God in his loving way, wants to yank him back in place.' This is so easy to happen--ASK ME HOW I KNOW!! I realize God that you are a loving Father. I know you wouldn't intentionally do anything to devastate or hurt your children. But YOU are in control and just like a parent, you want to be the Daddy and not the child! Father, spare them as you can, but in the same aspect, do whatever you have to do to let him learn NOW, before they are married and have too much at stake. Let him learn NOW that you are only doing what is in his best interest! Help me to be a good example. Help him to listen to me as a friend, an experienced friend, not just a MOTHER-IN-LAW!

God is in control
He knows my heart and soul
I give today to Him and rest
Convinced that He alone knows best
Keep me clear on what is right
To trust that you will win my fight
So now, I pray, my doubts forget
In you alone, our life is set.

I am excited tonite to give an update on our ministry situation and to ask for your prayers especially on Sunday at about 3-5PM (EST). Our pastor took Tom aside tonite and said the committee wants to meet with him. We are praying that if this is God's will that we would be able to stay here. However, if it is not the right place God wants us, we just pray for clarity and assurance that God has something for us. If you read this, please offer up a prayer for us...

It's Wednesday
Hump day
middle of the week
choir day
the day before Thursday
and the day after Tuesday.

What will be the significance of today?
Will there be anything that will make today special or unusual?
Prepare me now for the things that lie ahead today.
Help me to see something of you today that will encourage me.

XRSZ

This is my version of how to spell EXERCISE as a FOUR LETTER WORD!! I went back to the gym yesterday and was reminded of why I hate it so much!! I felt like a fish out of water!! Today, I feel like a child who has fallen off their bike! Why is it that something so good for us can initially make us feel so bad? Maybe there is a spiritual application in this. Maybe I should be reminded that just as Christians we are prone to experience some discomforts at times. Failure to do some of the things we are called to do, like daily Bible reading and prayer and even regular church attendance, are examples of our spiritual 'out of the gym' moment. Recognizing the need to return to what we know as good and right is a positive idea. But often, like the gym, this return requries a bit of adjustment. Just as our physical muscles are challenged and chastised for lack of use, so our spritual muscles are often stretched and exerted to a point of acceptance that we've been off track. I may never be an Olympian, but I am challenged now more than ever, both physically and spiritually to do as Paul said "Run the race before us with Perserverance!"

Sometimes I am amazed at how we are always asked by people at church about our status there. Our reply a always is "WHO KNOWS, You're guess is as good as ours." Why is it that so many people love us and want us to stay, yet we have NO indication from anyone that we are even a consideration. In fact, its often quite the opposite. We often feel like we are intentionally left out of the loop. Today, for example there was a luncheon, to which all the staff (we understand) were invited to attend...but nothing was said to us. Or like the guy who is over the youth Praise team who approached Tom asking him for help because he said "THEY" (whoever they is) had asked him to lead youth choir! Go figure! This is a college student who doesn't know anything about leading a youth choir...just playing guitar for a praise band...Which is a perfect segue to my next issue. The preacher also made a comment today about knowing and being certain of what our mission and calling are at the church. OBVIOUSLY, Tom and I both feel confident of our mission and calling, yet we are so baffled as to how we are to fulfill it. I even told the preacher afterward that the issue about Paradigm change and our calling is so conflicting. I mean, we know and are convinced of what we are to do, yet the change seems to prevail because of the lack of ministry opportunities throughout the country. It is amazing to us that each day as we check the various ministry classifieds that there are fewer and fewerrr openings for our type of calling. It seems everyone is wanting those who are straight contemporary...'Stand up to a mic with a guitar', 'Lead the congration from the keyboard' and even one which read 'No degree required, just ability'. What a slap in the face for those of us who have spent so much of our time and money to develop the calling and career. So, where does that leave us? Do we compromise our calling and try to work in these other venues? Somehow I don't think so. I have to believe that somewhere out there, a church is about to retire a minister of music, or God is about to call someone out from the very place where he desires for us to serve. I pray that God will continue to guide us minute by minute and provide for us exactly in the way he chooses.

Oh God, we wait!
We wait in confusion.
We wait anxiously.
We wait in anticipation.
We wait for your confidence.
We wait for your assurance.
We wait
wait
wait

Today we read a wonderful devotion that reminded us that when God calls leaders there is also much trevail. We were challenged to consider those people from the Bible like Paul/Saul, Peter, Daniel, Shadrach and the brothers and how their circumstances were the very thing that brought about God's miracles in their lives. God intentionally brings us into hard places to prove us and drive us deeper into the soil of his grace. He also brings us into extremely difficult situations to prove his power and to drive our roots deeper. We were reminded that in the times we feel discouraged or that he has abandoned his love for us, that we should cling to his coattail so that we can see his purpose. We should not lose our confidence because it will be richly rewarded.


Father, I don't have a clue what you have in store for us. We've waited almost a year and sometimes it seems like we really have been forgotten. Continue to reveal yourself to us and let us hook up with where you are at work in our lives. Let us ride your coattail and touch the hem of your garment for the spiritual release you have in store for us. Help us to trust that you have something ahead for us far beyond what we could ever imagine or think.

QUICK 50!

Tonite I had a neat opportunity to earn a quick $50. I went to the Embassy Suites hotel and participated in a Music survey. We sat for 2 and a half hours and listened to 600 music clips of a combination of Contemporary Christian songs and Country. We were to rate them on a 1-7 scale. It was fun and most all of the songs were very familiar. After we complete the survey, the facilitator came by and handed us all $50 in cash!! What a neat way for God to provide! You know he promised he would!

I hope they call again!!

Today was an incredibly difficult day at work. We found out five minutes before paychecks were to be distributed that the State had taken a levy on our accounts because of some back taxes that a former owner had left us with. This owner embezzelled hundreds of thousands of dollars and left us in major debt. We have struggled and worked to keep the facility open and yet there are those times for sure when the money is beyond the point of tight...So, today, the Administrator and myself were forced to break the news to the employees that due to those circumstances, we could not cash our checks. Needless to say, the people went ballistic! "I've got bills to pay, My car insurance is due, My this my that" No one seemed to think anything about how the Administrator felt or that she herself had financial responsibilities. However, the end to the story is that we received a phone call after about an hour telling us that it had all been cleared up. Of course, we were thrilled and headed straight to the bank. Things will change somewhat from this point on...but time will tell.!

One More major event!

Back in October 2003 when we began our journey at First Baptist Mauldin, we were thrilled to be permitted to participate in 40 DAYS OF PURPOSE! After ONE week of involvement, I said to myself and most importantly to God, "Myself, and above all God, how in the world can we EVER leave this place?!?!" I prayed "God, if there's anyway, could you please give us the opportunity to be here when they have the BIG PARTY to end 40 DAYS?" God answered our prayer and gave us the joy of being involved in the most incredible CELEBRATION of a JESUS EVENT than I've ever had the opportunity to experience. As the preparations began for FBCM's 100th Anniversary Celebration, I once again prayed that same prayer to my Father! "Please God, if there's any way, would you please give us the opportunity to be a part of this wonderful Celebration of 100 years?" And here I am today, the day has finished and what an incredible day it was! Everything from remembrances of THE PAST with the choir singing a song that was the first song sung by the choir in the original building and memorials to past staff members that had passed away. (The memorial to Tom Smith, former Minister of Music and dear dear friend of many including us! was very emotional!)...Then there was the PRESENT with a song that our organist wrote and was really great to THE FUTURE which included Clay Smith (son of the Minister of Music I spoke of earlier) who is now a student at SouthWestern Seminary and intern or some staff person at Prestonwood in Dallas. Clay had some very challenging words about How God is Raising us Up as a church...and then he sang in his FABULOUS tenor voice (like his dad!) the Josh Groban piece YOU RAISE ME UP. We had great music for worship led by Russ Lee from TRUTH and NEWSONG and he also did a concert during our lunch. There was so much that happened...

After the events were over and I waited for Tom, I sat on the steps and once again prayed to ask God "How much longer will you let us stay here and bask in the beauty of this place?" It has been such a Refuge for us, a place of healing of hurts and brokenness. It has been a place or restoration. But will this be a stepping stone to something better or will it become a part of our life???

My prayer God remains the same
To lead our steps and meet our needs
Please keep us safe and provide for us
Make us ready, willing and able to serve you!
Open the door and let us see you at work in our life!

Tomorrow is our big day!! The celebration of our 100th anniversary at church...I anticipate that it will be incredible!! We willl have special recognition from city officials and we will have a special recognition to our dear dear friend who died so suddenly, Tom Smith. I am excited to see how God will work in all of this...I know that there will be overwhelming emotions!! Tom's son, Clay, from Dallas will also be there to sing...it will be incredible.

Last nite was an AWESOME choir and orchestra rehearsal! I am so excited about this Sunday, our 100th Anniversary at FBC, Mauldin www.fbcmauldin.org . We will have an unbelievable service on Sunday with Special music by Russ Lee www.russlee.com , former lead singer with TRUTH and also NEWSONG! It is just going to be a great day!! COME ON AND JOIN US!!! :-)

I need a little reassurance....

Once again I am in one of those 'downie' kinda mornings...Rachel has gone to get books for school and she is concerned that there won't be enough money to cover her things. Father God, I pray right now, that you would be true to your promise to provide everything that we need. You know our circumstances and all of the situations that face us. I pray that you would bind the spirit of negativity that seems to permeate me and my family right now. I pray that you would send satan and his demons right back where they belong and that you would give me, and Rachel, Tom and Jared and even Chase an overwhelming sense of your love and promises. Allow something phenomenal to happen even as I am typing that would remind all of us that YOU are IN CONTROL and that you are FAITHFUL!

Everything happens on Channel 3

....The bogus title of my forthcoming book on my dysfunctional paternal family. I have always known that they were quirky, but little did I know that my 97 year old grandfather truly is the originator. I saw a completely different side of him when my aunt, cousin and I went to spend the weekend. The typical "let's keep it quiet and not turn on the TV" was nearly more than my cousin and I could handle. After torture by tic-toc, we decided to just turn on the TV and see what happens. We watched "The Pyramid" show and my grandfather seemed to be somewhat interested. He quickly let it be known, however, that THE PRICE IS RIGHT would soon be on and he did not plan to miss it and that we could turn up the volume. He was a hoot! He is so hillariously funny and sharp to occupy the fraile body that sbarely hold him up. He said he'd probably get excited too if he was gonna win a Lincoln Towncar! Eventually, I made the mistake of trying to tune the tv's channel set. He let me know in no uncertain terms that I did NOT need to mess with the TV, and even accused me of distorting the color. None the less, I decided that I would leave well enough alone and let them continue to think that everything happens on Channel 3.

I am needing some wisdom and understanding on how to deal with my mom right now. She called me this morning and was very anxious to find out how we were doing. She sounded very concerned and somewhat upset. I asked her if everything was OK and why was she asking how things were with us. She proceeded to tell me that yesterday, she'd been talking with some friends, and in the middle of talking she just blurted out my son's name. Then a few minutes later, she blurted out my husbands name. She has no understanding why she did that, but in her eyes, she thought God was trying to tell her something was going on.. STRANGE.. Fortunately, we are all just fine..but it makes me wonder what may be going on with her. Am I prepared to see her age?? Am I prepared to help her??? I need some answers!!

Today has been a roller coaster day. I have had so many emotions today from aggrevated to depressed to concerned to worried to on and on.

It is the same ole constant battle for me...trying to trust God and believe that He is in control and will find us a place to serve. In my heart, I KNOW without question that he will answer our prayers and provide us the perfect place, but that doesn't eliminate my feelings. I just wish I had some kind of an 'inside track' to someone at church that could clue me in to whether we're seriously being considered there. But I realize that is not the case and that I can't ask anyone.

God, I pray that tomorrow would be a better day. I pray that you would send something my way to encourage me and remind me that you DO care ultimately and completely for us. Provide us some Manna and a ram and and a Bright Light.

Tonite we went to the Church Business Conference. Even though we could not vote, we wanted to go and at least find out what was going on. They presented a new Minister for Administration and also spoke about updates for Music Minister position. I suppose we are at such a mixed up state of mind because of the comments made. They said that they had posted job info on the web (although we could never find it) and said that they'd had about 40 responses and that they had 10 that were viable considerations. They also said that they would begin this next week to go and begin some observations of people and ultimately interviews. We have not been clearly told as to whether or not we are one of those 10. We KNOW that we have been told that we're in consideration, but yet, there's been no updated followup. We decided that even if we were in the running, we didn't want to ASSUME anything and that in the event they picked someone else, we didn't want to ultimtately be left out in the cold w/ no where to serve...Then, if a church DID find an interest in us, they wouldn't have a place to see him in action. The depressing part is that we came home and began looking at websites for potential job ministry positions and all throughout the country there is virtually NOTHING that is full-time. We are just praying that GOd will open the door and lead us in the right direction. We want to remain positive and trust that HE WILL take care of us...but sometimes it is very discouraging.

I am intentionally blogging right now because I've not blogged all week. Basically, its been an uneventful week with the same ole same ole going on. I am honestly not in a blogger mood at the present time..so, please forgive the brain deadness..perhaps tomorrow will be better.

Waterfall

God desires us to look for Him in all of our surroundings. Some things are obvious..The leader with a Bible..The man at church in a suit...The fish on the back of a car.

These are evidences of God displayed and represented by what WE expect to see represent God. But how do I see God by this waterfall? The sounds of the water are calming, relaxing and peaceful. Yet, as I observe it closely, I am reminded of the verse in Isaiah " When you pass through the waters I will be with you, they will not overtake you" Just as the river flows, so flows my life. The water is birthed from an area far out of my sightline and continues to flow without a care, but yet with distinct destiny. I may not know where the destiny will end, but it is fulfilling a purpose. As it channels its way along the path, there are obstacles that have the potential to interrupt the smoothness of the waters. The water flows as if it instinctly knows that there is a pool of still, calm waters awaiting the flush across the waterfall itself. As the water flow approaches the edge of the fall, the path is rough and testy, and has disaster in its rolls if taken lightly. The water, however, passes the most intense area, while the peaceful waters welcome the rolling rapids into its calmness. Even as it continues through the calm, quiet waters the obstacles are still visible underneath, but as before, they are not a hindrance or stumbling block to the goal that the water is seeking...The water is determined and trusts its creator.

So it is with my life..God is my Living Water and creator. I can be determined to follow the flow of my path and trust that at the end of all the obstacles and rapid rushing waterfall, a calm and peaceful environment is waiting for me. I want to set my sights on the destination and not the obstacles along the way...I am determined and I trust my creator.

My life is a river.
I will flow into your arms
There is pain along my pathway
But you lead me through it all
I will trust that as I wander
on a journey I can not see
That you are right beside me
Always here for me.

The rocks and stones may face me
I may feel I've reached the end
But I will hold to what I know
That you will be my friend.
I will let the rocks fall all around me
I will build upon the stones
Believe your promises to be true
That I am not alone.

GreenvilleOnline - News

This was our neighborhood yesterday...FORTUNATELY we didn't have anything more than a lake in our backyard! NOAH! where are you!!

John Kerry for President - Speech to the 2004 Democratic National Convention: "And let me say it plainly: in that cause, and in this campaign, we welcome people of faith. America is not us and them. I think of what Ron Reagan said of his father a few weeks ago, and I w"

Interesting excerpt from Kerry's speech last night...Perhaps its not his sleeve that I'd like to see his faith but more in his approach towards human life. I am still somewhat confused by him.

Routines

Day after Day I find myself falling into routines. Before the sun ever rises, I consistently slap at an inanimate object commonly referred to as my alarm clock. The sound of the music is so quiet that only myself and the oversensitive ears of my dogs can hear it. My goal is to snooze out the time every nine minutes trying to stretch out those last few minutes. I pray silently before I take that last roll over, "Please God, as I go to meet you, make it worth my while." Undoubtedly, the cries and the whines of the canines prevail and I am forced to make my feet meet my slippers and focus the glasses and begin the day. The day of routines.

The dogs are out. The coffee is poured. With Bible, paper and pen in hand I head to the chair to meet God in hopes that my prayer for 'worthwhiledness' is fullfilled. Always, when I am open, He manages to show up at my breakfast table and pop some distinct clarity straight from His pages to my pages. For that routine, I am thankful.

I step into the shower to the tunes of the Christian radio station in preparation for morning prayer time. Somehow, they always seem to be playing Nichole C. Mullen's 'I know My redeemer lives' or Avalon's 'Can't live a day without you'. I hear the requests from the radio staff and I am prompted to pray for those who have called in with marital problems, for those who are sick or having surgery and those, including ourselves who are in need of financial provisions. This is a routine.

Showering, dressing, hair and makeup all fall into a futile routine that times itself according to the 'Weather on the 4's' and sports. God forbid that a power outage or change in programming occur to irregulate this routine. With routine in tact, the 7:00 hour is in full force and we are quickly being welcomed and greeted by Katie Couric and others who start their mornings in my 'middle of the night.' It's time to wake my spouse and with sleepy eyes and scope desperate breath, I am assured that he will meet me for prayer before I leave. THIS is a routine.

We pray for the day, the kids and of course, our job situation. I grab the last cup of coffee, return to the bedroom for one final mirror check and head out the door, tripping over the dogs. I head for the 'Z' car pushing away spiderwebs and bees and sit in the dampness that managed to leak its way into my seat. This too is a routine.

The route to work is always the same. The water department truck, the power truck are passed. A man with his cigarette in one hand and a dog leash in the other always fertilizing the same spot. The radio D. J. and his morning contests keep the cell phone close at hand just in case they need a comment or a winner. This is a routine.

Arrival at work leads to various events that push their way to five o'clock when I once again return to the same road that I seem to have just travelled. As I enter back home, I am greeted by the same animals that were once my stumbling block. Oprah reruns, unthawed supper and finally a substitute pot of leftovers eventually bring us all to a new episode of reality t.v. that is everything from Unbelievable, So Fake, Totally Impossible or just plain Stupid. This too is a routine.

I have settled on my bed with my laptop in lap for online chats with my family and friends and most probably a game of spades. As the theme song for the 11:00 news begins to play, I am drawn from my 'bed desk' to begin the routine reversal. This series of events is where the routines come full circle. The clothes that were put on are taken off, the makeup that was painted on is washed off. The final phase is when my head hits the pillow and the circle begins again. This is a routine.

I hope that my relationship with the Father is more than a wasted routine. I hope that the things that are done through the day are recognized for their purpose in my life and that the roar of my life would not drown out his still small voice. My desire is that as I routinely drive to and from place to place, that I not become mesmerized in a hynotic state, failing to remember that God is trying to have a conversation with me from the passenger seat. I pray that the routines in my life will be positive routines and not negative. THIS TOO MUST BE A ROUTINE.

You are the Potter
I am the Clay
Lead me and guide me
All through this day
Give me the wisdom
To trust who you are
Knowledge to seek you
And not stray too far
Help me to know that on
You I depend
To pursue you intently
Til day comes to end

..:: Welcome to Mark Schultz ::..

This is an INCREDIBLE video by Mark Shultz. I heard on the radio this morning that he will be going to Kuwait to sing this for our service men!! ALLRIGHT! What a blessing!

HOPE IS ON THE WAY.....
I wonder if there is any validity to this...
I HOPE that the HOPE that is ON THE WAY
is already in place.

Pots
Pans
Silverware
Dishes
Towels
Blender
Mixer
Crockpot
Microwave
wedding dress
wedding ring
house


Fairytale Fairytale your heart desires so much
My hopes and dreams for you my child
Is happiness you can touch.
So many things we've never had or had the chance to own
We saw and wanted and made a way
Yes they were ours,thanks to a loan!
The tires, the milk, trips to the beach
It all was justified and in our reach.
Now its your turn to walk the aisle
And I am stressing all the while
For now the time has come to pay
To settle up and try to say
That if we had more time to do
We'd take it slow and not buy new.
We'd buy a little here and there
We'd let the clothes see longer wear
It's your day now, your dream is near
And I will save until it's here.
I pray you'll watch, our lessons learn
To use your wisdom and then discern
That all you really need to start
Is shared between you in your heart.

Today has been a pretty uneventful day. Nothing really happened and continues in that direction. I will say that at this point, I have almost lowered myself to the depths of low...CHANNEL SURFING. I generally dispise that and refrain from any such association to it. I am, however, tonite, pushed to the point because of the manipulation of the democratic national convention.
I suppose there are things about that which I just do not understand. My gut instinct is to wave the flag and say "Yankee Doodle Republican". I think that as it stands right now, my feelings for that are swayed because of the beliefs and morals for which the majority of the republicans stand. I am sure that there are some democrats who are Christian and will stand their beliefs just as strongly. I suppose that I will continue to watch in order to form a better opinion.

Last nite I had a wonderful conversation with Liz (my cousin) 's husband. He told me all about how the horrible accident occured. He said first thing that God had been using this to perform so many miracles and was using all of the events to bring him glory. He said that if the accident had just been 10 minutes later that not only would have been there, but their daughter (age 19) , Courtney would have been there as well. Chris said that night after Liz surgery, he drove back to the scene of the accident and sat in the car and prayed, thanking and Praising God for what He had already done through this and he Praised God because it could have even been worse. He prayed for the family who lost their son and for the Recovery Ministry that he had just begun at their church. Liz is fighting very strongly and making good progress. She had surgery on her abdomen Monday which basically was a 'resection' of her intestines. She also has a broken leg but due to something having completely protruded through it will take a LONG time for recovery. Our prayeres should continue for Liz's friend Laura who is fighting for her life at Duke Medical Center.
Tomorrow we will meet my mom and her brothers and sisters for lunch. Mom is here from TX and we are all looking forward to being together._

To those who may read this, please pray for my cousin Liz Smith from the Sanford, NC area (near Raleigh). She and a friend were eating lunch Monday at a local restaurant when a 16 ton freightliner barrelled into the side of the restaurant. The son of the owner was pinned by the truck and was killed. My cousin and her friend were both transported to hospitals and are in serious condition. (A detailed article can be found at www.sanfordherald.com) Please pray for all of the families involved in this terrible tragedy.

This is really quick to say a few words about today. We had a FUN afternoon going to a BLACK church to share in a "GOSPEL PROGRAM". We were the only white people there (Our choir), but it was so neat. We BOTH recognized that there was no way that either of us could exchange types of music and do it justice! We approached the church and began to realize that this church MIGHT not have air conditioning! However, we walked in the front lobby and felt a cool breeze of AC...BUT THEN, we actually entered the main sanctuary and were greeted by 'Sister So an So" who kindly handed us a program and a Martin Luther King Funeral Fan! We fanned for the next hour as we thouroughly enjoyed the exchanged environment of sounds.

What have you asked of us??
To remember that you will be glorified in our sacrifices.
What have you asked of us? To Sacrifce
Our sacrifices are the giving up of something precious for the sake of a Diety. God, you are Diety and I give up praise and weak efforts, realizing that you will honor and bless inspite of weakness.
What have you asked of us?
To trust your faithfulness. You have promised that you will never leave or forsake.
What have you asked of us?
To respond in confidence that YOU are our helper and that there is no need to fear what man may try to do. You were there for Moses and Joshua and so many others in the past. You have not changed and you will continue to be the same.
What have you asked of ME?
Offer a sacrifice of Praise in Confident Faith in your unchangable character!

I remember the days of recitals. My own, I always prayed that the rapture that I'd heard of so often would happen at that moment. The freeze ups, the forgotten notes were worthy of rescue. Needless to say, the rapture didn't happen, just Indian war chants, Pa rum pa pa pum drums and eventually the quiet reflections. In all of the variedness, we are reminded that we are here for a reason...to evoke the emotions of those listening. Emotions that are full of excitment, peacefulness and calmness and often simple pride of accomplishment.

Sometimes you can hear reminders of famous composers from days past. Occasionally you hear the 'tic toc' of a pianistic clock. Many times you are taken to the memory of an old childhood hymn where visions of funeral fans and flies are everywhere. Rustling waters and breezes from trees often blow through the seats as we are swept away in relaxation and meditation.

Often I am put to shame and regreful of the negligence I have to practicing a talent that I am capable of sharing. However, like many gifts, when kept to ourselves it becomes rusty and creates insecurities. There are times when the teacher in me returns with a desire to correct the imperfections. "Pedal, Pedal, its blurring!" Then reality returns as I remember that I am no longer the teacher. I hear the staccatos and crescendos and am compelled to exemplify dynamics in my life. I too, need a little staccato in my life at times and there are days that I should perhaps crescendo or perhaps diminuendo somewhat.

My life is an instrument. God, make me an instrument of you!

Gifts

To each one He, God, gives a gift.
Is your gift teaching?
Is your gift preaching?
"I think you are a great host. Your home is always warm and inviting" one says.
The gift of hospitality.
Faith, the evidence of things hoped for
and believed
even when they are unseen.
"You have to believe that God is your helper,
your provider!
He is all you have
and all you need!
Let me ENCOURAGE you to trust him!"
Encourager.
What a blessing to find someone with that gift!
To some He gave wisdom
and to others He gave knowledge.
"Let's hope those who have wisdom
have knowledge enough to realize it!"
Some will heal
Some will Prophecy and
speak in languages that only the Spirit understands.
What ever your gift
Wherever you use it
Remember it is from God your Father
A gift!
A token of His Love for you.
To: You
From: God
with Love

I have come forth on the fifth with flying colors. The holiday weekend was fun and enjoyable although we didn't really do much out of the ordinary. We went Saturday to see THE STEPFORD WIVES...How fun!! Now I have explanation for my aunt that I cruise with!! She was a Stepford Wife and didn't even know it!!

We spent Sunday afternoon and evening with Patsy and Alan. They had brought Bejamin to Bob Jones Music Camp. We had a really fun time and will plan on getting together on Friday for his concert.

Tom is at home today awaiting a call from the car rental office. I hope that he hears something. He also received a letter from First Baptist Mauldin Search Committee. The letter was explaining the profile that had been developed for the New Minister of Music. Interestingly enough, there is NOTHING on that list that Tom doesn't fit. Time will tell though!

Father, you KNOW our hearts and that we are willing to go wherever you lead, but if it's your will, you know our desire to stay here. Give us clarity and peace as we trust you!

I feel his Pain

He's not my child but I feel his pain
I see him there, Its so insane
With guns and trucks he loved to play
But God, I sense its not this way.

Bless him as he fights for me
A battle that will not be free
The cost will be a life or more
But please dear God just end this war.

I realize he serves with pride
Lead his steps and be his guide
Let him feel your presence near
Until he's home with those so dear.

Bless the families and those who wait
Who hear the noises and beg his fate
Oh God we pray you'll spare attack
And that you'll quickly bring him back.

If he's never known your love
Who you are,grace from above
Reveal yourself and let him see
That you, too died to set men free

Let him know that you'll be there
and that you'll guard with tender care
Thank you that this prayer is heard
And that you're faithful to your word

End this war his faith increase
Your comfort daily please release
Stop the fights and let this cease
Until he's home and there is peace.

Sometimes we all forget our purpose.
Maybe its a mother who gets caught up
in baking cookies that her dinner is late.
Baking cookies was not a bad thing,
certainly not to the child.
But the rest of her family might
have wished that she'd remembered her
purpose for being in the kitchen
was really to cook dinner and not cookies.
Maybe it is a dad who had great intentions
of driving you to the mall,
but fails to realize that Christmas eve
is just not the best time to shop.
Perhaps its just us as Christ followers.
We mean well by our routines
and rituals of church, and how we
spend our personal time with God.
Yet we see a fellow Christian
with whom we have 'issues' and find it
easier to turn the other way and pretend
that we suddenly are having an
"I need some Immodium" moment,
or we slide the sunglasses over our eyes
thinking "maybe if I don't see them
they won't see me."
Our purpose as Believers and
Followers is to reproduce.
Unfortunately, most unbelievers
who observe such behavior would most
likely prefer to follow only if they
were headed to a garbage dump.
Where does our purpose lie?
In our hearts or in a Heap?