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This is my version of how to spell EXERCISE as a FOUR LETTER WORD!! I went back to the gym yesterday and was reminded of why I hate it so much!! I felt like a fish out of water!! Today, I feel like a child who has fallen off their bike! Why is it that something so good for us can initially make us feel so bad? Maybe there is a spiritual application in this. Maybe I should be reminded that just as Christians we are prone to experience some discomforts at times. Failure to do some of the things we are called to do, like daily Bible reading and prayer and even regular church attendance, are examples of our spiritual 'out of the gym' moment. Recognizing the need to return to what we know as good and right is a positive idea. But often, like the gym, this return requries a bit of adjustment. Just as our physical muscles are challenged and chastised for lack of use, so our spritual muscles are often stretched and exerted to a point of acceptance that we've been off track. I may never be an Olympian, but I am challenged now more than ever, both physically and spiritually to do as Paul said "Run the race before us with Perserverance!"

Sometimes I am amazed at how we are always asked by people at church about our status there. Our reply a always is "WHO KNOWS, You're guess is as good as ours." Why is it that so many people love us and want us to stay, yet we have NO indication from anyone that we are even a consideration. In fact, its often quite the opposite. We often feel like we are intentionally left out of the loop. Today, for example there was a luncheon, to which all the staff (we understand) were invited to attend...but nothing was said to us. Or like the guy who is over the youth Praise team who approached Tom asking him for help because he said "THEY" (whoever they is) had asked him to lead youth choir! Go figure! This is a college student who doesn't know anything about leading a youth choir...just playing guitar for a praise band...Which is a perfect segue to my next issue. The preacher also made a comment today about knowing and being certain of what our mission and calling are at the church. OBVIOUSLY, Tom and I both feel confident of our mission and calling, yet we are so baffled as to how we are to fulfill it. I even told the preacher afterward that the issue about Paradigm change and our calling is so conflicting. I mean, we know and are convinced of what we are to do, yet the change seems to prevail because of the lack of ministry opportunities throughout the country. It is amazing to us that each day as we check the various ministry classifieds that there are fewer and fewerrr openings for our type of calling. It seems everyone is wanting those who are straight contemporary...'Stand up to a mic with a guitar', 'Lead the congration from the keyboard' and even one which read 'No degree required, just ability'. What a slap in the face for those of us who have spent so much of our time and money to develop the calling and career. So, where does that leave us? Do we compromise our calling and try to work in these other venues? Somehow I don't think so. I have to believe that somewhere out there, a church is about to retire a minister of music, or God is about to call someone out from the very place where he desires for us to serve. I pray that God will continue to guide us minute by minute and provide for us exactly in the way he chooses.

Oh God, we wait!
We wait in confusion.
We wait anxiously.
We wait in anticipation.
We wait for your confidence.
We wait for your assurance.
We wait
wait
wait

Today we read a wonderful devotion that reminded us that when God calls leaders there is also much trevail. We were challenged to consider those people from the Bible like Paul/Saul, Peter, Daniel, Shadrach and the brothers and how their circumstances were the very thing that brought about God's miracles in their lives. God intentionally brings us into hard places to prove us and drive us deeper into the soil of his grace. He also brings us into extremely difficult situations to prove his power and to drive our roots deeper. We were reminded that in the times we feel discouraged or that he has abandoned his love for us, that we should cling to his coattail so that we can see his purpose. We should not lose our confidence because it will be richly rewarded.


Father, I don't have a clue what you have in store for us. We've waited almost a year and sometimes it seems like we really have been forgotten. Continue to reveal yourself to us and let us hook up with where you are at work in our lives. Let us ride your coattail and touch the hem of your garment for the spiritual release you have in store for us. Help us to trust that you have something ahead for us far beyond what we could ever imagine or think.

QUICK 50!

Tonite I had a neat opportunity to earn a quick $50. I went to the Embassy Suites hotel and participated in a Music survey. We sat for 2 and a half hours and listened to 600 music clips of a combination of Contemporary Christian songs and Country. We were to rate them on a 1-7 scale. It was fun and most all of the songs were very familiar. After we complete the survey, the facilitator came by and handed us all $50 in cash!! What a neat way for God to provide! You know he promised he would!

I hope they call again!!

Today was an incredibly difficult day at work. We found out five minutes before paychecks were to be distributed that the State had taken a levy on our accounts because of some back taxes that a former owner had left us with. This owner embezzelled hundreds of thousands of dollars and left us in major debt. We have struggled and worked to keep the facility open and yet there are those times for sure when the money is beyond the point of tight...So, today, the Administrator and myself were forced to break the news to the employees that due to those circumstances, we could not cash our checks. Needless to say, the people went ballistic! "I've got bills to pay, My car insurance is due, My this my that" No one seemed to think anything about how the Administrator felt or that she herself had financial responsibilities. However, the end to the story is that we received a phone call after about an hour telling us that it had all been cleared up. Of course, we were thrilled and headed straight to the bank. Things will change somewhat from this point on...but time will tell.!

One More major event!

Back in October 2003 when we began our journey at First Baptist Mauldin, we were thrilled to be permitted to participate in 40 DAYS OF PURPOSE! After ONE week of involvement, I said to myself and most importantly to God, "Myself, and above all God, how in the world can we EVER leave this place?!?!" I prayed "God, if there's anyway, could you please give us the opportunity to be here when they have the BIG PARTY to end 40 DAYS?" God answered our prayer and gave us the joy of being involved in the most incredible CELEBRATION of a JESUS EVENT than I've ever had the opportunity to experience. As the preparations began for FBCM's 100th Anniversary Celebration, I once again prayed that same prayer to my Father! "Please God, if there's any way, would you please give us the opportunity to be a part of this wonderful Celebration of 100 years?" And here I am today, the day has finished and what an incredible day it was! Everything from remembrances of THE PAST with the choir singing a song that was the first song sung by the choir in the original building and memorials to past staff members that had passed away. (The memorial to Tom Smith, former Minister of Music and dear dear friend of many including us! was very emotional!)...Then there was the PRESENT with a song that our organist wrote and was really great to THE FUTURE which included Clay Smith (son of the Minister of Music I spoke of earlier) who is now a student at SouthWestern Seminary and intern or some staff person at Prestonwood in Dallas. Clay had some very challenging words about How God is Raising us Up as a church...and then he sang in his FABULOUS tenor voice (like his dad!) the Josh Groban piece YOU RAISE ME UP. We had great music for worship led by Russ Lee from TRUTH and NEWSONG and he also did a concert during our lunch. There was so much that happened...

After the events were over and I waited for Tom, I sat on the steps and once again prayed to ask God "How much longer will you let us stay here and bask in the beauty of this place?" It has been such a Refuge for us, a place of healing of hurts and brokenness. It has been a place or restoration. But will this be a stepping stone to something better or will it become a part of our life???

My prayer God remains the same
To lead our steps and meet our needs
Please keep us safe and provide for us
Make us ready, willing and able to serve you!
Open the door and let us see you at work in our life!

Tomorrow is our big day!! The celebration of our 100th anniversary at church...I anticipate that it will be incredible!! We willl have special recognition from city officials and we will have a special recognition to our dear dear friend who died so suddenly, Tom Smith. I am excited to see how God will work in all of this...I know that there will be overwhelming emotions!! Tom's son, Clay, from Dallas will also be there to sing...it will be incredible.

Last nite was an AWESOME choir and orchestra rehearsal! I am so excited about this Sunday, our 100th Anniversary at FBC, Mauldin www.fbcmauldin.org . We will have an unbelievable service on Sunday with Special music by Russ Lee www.russlee.com , former lead singer with TRUTH and also NEWSONG! It is just going to be a great day!! COME ON AND JOIN US!!! :-)

I need a little reassurance....

Once again I am in one of those 'downie' kinda mornings...Rachel has gone to get books for school and she is concerned that there won't be enough money to cover her things. Father God, I pray right now, that you would be true to your promise to provide everything that we need. You know our circumstances and all of the situations that face us. I pray that you would bind the spirit of negativity that seems to permeate me and my family right now. I pray that you would send satan and his demons right back where they belong and that you would give me, and Rachel, Tom and Jared and even Chase an overwhelming sense of your love and promises. Allow something phenomenal to happen even as I am typing that would remind all of us that YOU are IN CONTROL and that you are FAITHFUL!

Everything happens on Channel 3

....The bogus title of my forthcoming book on my dysfunctional paternal family. I have always known that they were quirky, but little did I know that my 97 year old grandfather truly is the originator. I saw a completely different side of him when my aunt, cousin and I went to spend the weekend. The typical "let's keep it quiet and not turn on the TV" was nearly more than my cousin and I could handle. After torture by tic-toc, we decided to just turn on the TV and see what happens. We watched "The Pyramid" show and my grandfather seemed to be somewhat interested. He quickly let it be known, however, that THE PRICE IS RIGHT would soon be on and he did not plan to miss it and that we could turn up the volume. He was a hoot! He is so hillariously funny and sharp to occupy the fraile body that sbarely hold him up. He said he'd probably get excited too if he was gonna win a Lincoln Towncar! Eventually, I made the mistake of trying to tune the tv's channel set. He let me know in no uncertain terms that I did NOT need to mess with the TV, and even accused me of distorting the color. None the less, I decided that I would leave well enough alone and let them continue to think that everything happens on Channel 3.

I am needing some wisdom and understanding on how to deal with my mom right now. She called me this morning and was very anxious to find out how we were doing. She sounded very concerned and somewhat upset. I asked her if everything was OK and why was she asking how things were with us. She proceeded to tell me that yesterday, she'd been talking with some friends, and in the middle of talking she just blurted out my son's name. Then a few minutes later, she blurted out my husbands name. She has no understanding why she did that, but in her eyes, she thought God was trying to tell her something was going on.. STRANGE.. Fortunately, we are all just fine..but it makes me wonder what may be going on with her. Am I prepared to see her age?? Am I prepared to help her??? I need some answers!!

Today has been a roller coaster day. I have had so many emotions today from aggrevated to depressed to concerned to worried to on and on.

It is the same ole constant battle for me...trying to trust God and believe that He is in control and will find us a place to serve. In my heart, I KNOW without question that he will answer our prayers and provide us the perfect place, but that doesn't eliminate my feelings. I just wish I had some kind of an 'inside track' to someone at church that could clue me in to whether we're seriously being considered there. But I realize that is not the case and that I can't ask anyone.

God, I pray that tomorrow would be a better day. I pray that you would send something my way to encourage me and remind me that you DO care ultimately and completely for us. Provide us some Manna and a ram and and a Bright Light.

Tonite we went to the Church Business Conference. Even though we could not vote, we wanted to go and at least find out what was going on. They presented a new Minister for Administration and also spoke about updates for Music Minister position. I suppose we are at such a mixed up state of mind because of the comments made. They said that they had posted job info on the web (although we could never find it) and said that they'd had about 40 responses and that they had 10 that were viable considerations. They also said that they would begin this next week to go and begin some observations of people and ultimately interviews. We have not been clearly told as to whether or not we are one of those 10. We KNOW that we have been told that we're in consideration, but yet, there's been no updated followup. We decided that even if we were in the running, we didn't want to ASSUME anything and that in the event they picked someone else, we didn't want to ultimtately be left out in the cold w/ no where to serve...Then, if a church DID find an interest in us, they wouldn't have a place to see him in action. The depressing part is that we came home and began looking at websites for potential job ministry positions and all throughout the country there is virtually NOTHING that is full-time. We are just praying that GOd will open the door and lead us in the right direction. We want to remain positive and trust that HE WILL take care of us...but sometimes it is very discouraging.

I am intentionally blogging right now because I've not blogged all week. Basically, its been an uneventful week with the same ole same ole going on. I am honestly not in a blogger mood at the present time..so, please forgive the brain deadness..perhaps tomorrow will be better.

Waterfall

God desires us to look for Him in all of our surroundings. Some things are obvious..The leader with a Bible..The man at church in a suit...The fish on the back of a car.

These are evidences of God displayed and represented by what WE expect to see represent God. But how do I see God by this waterfall? The sounds of the water are calming, relaxing and peaceful. Yet, as I observe it closely, I am reminded of the verse in Isaiah " When you pass through the waters I will be with you, they will not overtake you" Just as the river flows, so flows my life. The water is birthed from an area far out of my sightline and continues to flow without a care, but yet with distinct destiny. I may not know where the destiny will end, but it is fulfilling a purpose. As it channels its way along the path, there are obstacles that have the potential to interrupt the smoothness of the waters. The water flows as if it instinctly knows that there is a pool of still, calm waters awaiting the flush across the waterfall itself. As the water flow approaches the edge of the fall, the path is rough and testy, and has disaster in its rolls if taken lightly. The water, however, passes the most intense area, while the peaceful waters welcome the rolling rapids into its calmness. Even as it continues through the calm, quiet waters the obstacles are still visible underneath, but as before, they are not a hindrance or stumbling block to the goal that the water is seeking...The water is determined and trusts its creator.

So it is with my life..God is my Living Water and creator. I can be determined to follow the flow of my path and trust that at the end of all the obstacles and rapid rushing waterfall, a calm and peaceful environment is waiting for me. I want to set my sights on the destination and not the obstacles along the way...I am determined and I trust my creator.

My life is a river.
I will flow into your arms
There is pain along my pathway
But you lead me through it all
I will trust that as I wander
on a journey I can not see
That you are right beside me
Always here for me.

The rocks and stones may face me
I may feel I've reached the end
But I will hold to what I know
That you will be my friend.
I will let the rocks fall all around me
I will build upon the stones
Believe your promises to be true
That I am not alone.