I feel his Pain

He's not my child but I feel his pain
I see him there, Its so insane
With guns and trucks he loved to play
But God, I sense its not this way.

Bless him as he fights for me
A battle that will not be free
The cost will be a life or more
But please dear God just end this war.

I realize he serves with pride
Lead his steps and be his guide
Let him feel your presence near
Until he's home with those so dear.

Bless the families and those who wait
Who hear the noises and beg his fate
Oh God we pray you'll spare attack
And that you'll quickly bring him back.

If he's never known your love
Who you are,grace from above
Reveal yourself and let him see
That you, too died to set men free

Let him know that you'll be there
and that you'll guard with tender care
Thank you that this prayer is heard
And that you're faithful to your word

End this war his faith increase
Your comfort daily please release
Stop the fights and let this cease
Until he's home and there is peace.

Sometimes we all forget our purpose.
Maybe its a mother who gets caught up
in baking cookies that her dinner is late.
Baking cookies was not a bad thing,
certainly not to the child.
But the rest of her family might
have wished that she'd remembered her
purpose for being in the kitchen
was really to cook dinner and not cookies.
Maybe it is a dad who had great intentions
of driving you to the mall,
but fails to realize that Christmas eve
is just not the best time to shop.
Perhaps its just us as Christ followers.
We mean well by our routines
and rituals of church, and how we
spend our personal time with God.
Yet we see a fellow Christian
with whom we have 'issues' and find it
easier to turn the other way and pretend
that we suddenly are having an
"I need some Immodium" moment,
or we slide the sunglasses over our eyes
thinking "maybe if I don't see them
they won't see me."
Our purpose as Believers and
Followers is to reproduce.
Unfortunately, most unbelievers
who observe such behavior would most
likely prefer to follow only if they
were headed to a garbage dump.
Where does our purpose lie?
In our hearts or in a Heap?

Tom is at White Oak and I am hanging out on my own. A friend from church had talked about a group of girls going to see THE NOTEBOOK, but I never heard anymore after Sunday--OH WELL. I know that it'll be a good movie. I've read the book--One of the FEW I've read. I really wish that I was more disciplined to read. My mind just wanders too much. It is pretty obvious that my mind also wanders even as I blog I think! Tom called about things at White Oak and it is really pretty bizarre with the new minister of music from our former church there. He says that there are a few from there who are same as usual (like he has leprosy)...but we are trusting God to give him confidence and strength while there.

God, would you just let this be a moment kinda like you talked about with David? Many times he asked you to vindicate him and let the other people be the ones who feel insignificant or insecure. David often was pretty bold in what he asked and we're certainly not asking for that. Just let there be peace and unity as they work for you and not their differences.

************
*********** Jim Tippens website with some of my scripts is below:

http://www.ontheedgeproductions.org/scripts_for_worship.htm

OK everyone! I must admit I'm a little excited!! I just went out to hunt the cat that I thought had once again disappeared fortunately to find that wasn't the case...when I went out, I happened to notice a package in my front door (which I NEVER use). The package was 3 copies of LET'S WORSHIP which has one of my pieces! I realize that for some of you this is old hat...well, for me, my hat is on for the first time and right now its a BIG SOMBRERO...maybe at some point it may become a pillbox hat, but today I'm Singing "Ole!" :-)

This is a rough sketch based on our sermon today.

WAITING

They that wait on the Lord shall...

>So, did you hear about the guy who was stuck on top of the Empire State building? Hang on a sec...Hello, yeah, I'm here..waiting in traffic at a stop light about to turn in for a quick bite to eat at the drive thru. Oh yeah sure, let me call you back he's on the phone right now..(Beep back to first call)...Hey, sorry to keep you waiting! Now where were we...Man, I HATE waiting for the light to change! Oh yeah, SO, did you hear about the guy ...Hold on, or better yet, let me just call you back. I'm about to turn into the drive thru...Yeah, I'll finish the joke when I call you back. (with your hand over mouth - mockingly) Welcome to Breezie's may I take your order? Oh sure, I'd like a cheeseburger no bread, extra cheese and a small water. And yes, I'm headed to the 2nd window! Here ya go $2 and keep the change! Pull forward?? Why do I have to wait? I mean I'm kinda in a hurry...right right!! How ridiculous..Who would've thought they'd make you wait to NOT put something ON the burger...(Whistle, figdit etc) I am never gonna get there in time for the Dr. appt...Oh thanks..finally, Its about time..

(Dr. Office - Race in talking fast)...I'm here, whew, Sorry I'm running late, would you believe that they made me WAIT at the drive thru just for a burger and water...I mean I could understand if I'd ordered something giant size, but just a a burger, I mean I did tell them hold the...Excuse me, I have to SIT and WAIT again?? I just about swallowed my food whole so I would get here and NOW you tell me I have to WAIT?? Well, I realize I should be appreciative and enjoy the time to rest! Noooo, I don't just carry books with me and I can not just sit here and watch the Discovery Channel! Of course I can see that there are those who like that, but I'm not one of them! (Huff, roll eyes - sit--fidgit, pop knuckles get up again) Uh, sorry to bother you, but do you have ANY idea how much longer I'll have to wait? (Sheepishly) Oh yes, I do want to be treated the same way..sorry....
(Phone Ring) Hello, hey, just waiting in the Dr. office...WHAT??? Oh my goodness, I'm on my way....
(switch to a bedside) Oh mom, I'm here, please, wake up! What's happened. How could you get like this so fast? We've been waiting and waiting for you to wake up, not to go deeper into this sleep! Can you hear me mom?? Don't worry...we'll be right here, waiting like we always do! I thought Life was just waiting and waiting...Now I see that Life is just waiting to come to life.

Last night after the final Music Extravanganza program at Ridgecrest, Tom and I were talking to our DEAR DEAR friend, Roger Breland. We were sharing with Roger about our continued to desire to be serving in Music Ministry full-time. At any rate, Roger being a father/mentor figure to us and very concerned for us, asked Tom if he was willing to take a church out side of South Carolina. I suppose that Tom had more hesitation in answering than Roger thought to be 'the right answer' and he quickly began to (in his words) 'preach a little to us!' Roger lovingly reminded us that we did not want to put boundaries or limitations on God working in our life. He reminded us that if 'circumstances' were our concern (mostly a daughter who just graduated High school) that we needed to remember that if WE were concerned then GOD was even MORE concerned and would work all of those 'circumstances' out. After a wonderful reaffirmation of what we really already knew, Tom and I got in our car and headed for the Nibble Nook Ice Cream shop but continued our discussion and confirmation of a renewed desire to be WHEREVER HE LEADS!! At that point, the 'God-ities' began.
We entered the Nibble Nook and headed to the counter to be one of MANY who were being served by precious Sr. Adult Volunteer "scoupers!" Of all the 'scoupers' and of all the Music Minister Patrons, God saw fit to put someone in our path. This dear man began to probe Tom about who he was and what he did and quickly began sharing all of the great things about HIS church and HIS pastor. He shared with us about the wonderful Sunday School, church staff and secretaries and that unfortunately, there was no Minister of Music. Needless to say, we were stunned that of all the people who could have served us and of all the people he had served, God put us in his line.
Another 'God-ity' (God oddity), as we left Ridgecrest to come home to Greenville, the greatest majority of the cars that passed us were from the state where that church is located...An ironic thing, perhaps, but most likely just something to remind us to check out the website when we got home.
Upon checking the website we discovered some items of interest...
The pastor and his staff all have similar ties to the same states that Tom and I do...and also, the pastor's wife writes some for SBC periodicals!! Are these just accidentals?? Perhaps. But if nothing else, it has affirmed again that as we seek His perfect will, He will continue to send reminders to us to prove that GOD IS IN CONTROL of our lives and our future.

How exciting!---By the way, if you read this Matt--I hate I missed you. I got to Ridgecrest on Friday around mid afternoon, but didn't know where or how to find you. Oh well, Tom certainly enjoyed your classes!

I see the wall. It is so much taller than I am that I can hardly see above it without stretching on my tip toes. I can see that on the other side are things that I want to touch and feel. There are things of which I want to be included. But how do I get there? How do I reach the other side of the wall? What are my options? I can see at eye level that there is a crack. It's a small crack and doesn't seem to be of any major concern, although, as I look more intently, I can see that it progressively spreads larger and larger. My fear is that the wall will crack to the point that it begins to crumble. Graffiti lines the wall. There are words of Praise and encouragement and also words of defeat, despair and distress. Interestingly enough, all of the words that represent the negativity are the ones that make the crack larger and wider. The words of positive are in the smaller space on the wall yet they are what is keeping that part of the wall smooth and in tact. I pray that God will let the wall of my life be formed by the narrow section of positiveness. I pray that the negatives would be sucked up by the crack as they fall into the abyss of ungodliness. I want my life to be represented by the smoothness of the positive area so the positives will be as rungs on a ladder enabling me to climb over the top to find Peace!

IDENTITY THEFT

READER 1: For whom would I be mistaken?
Would someone mistake me for my mother, my grandmother?
Perhaps they would mistake me for a child
Maybe I would be mistaken for Sarah in the Bible because of my Faith in seeing God work in unbelievably impossible circumstances.

READER 2: "Oh yes, I know how old I am but do I question you? - No! With God, NOTHING is impossible..All things are possible..even THIS!"


READER 3: The whale. Could I be seen as a whale?...I'm not sure I want to go there! But a whale??!"

READER 1: The rejector of someone or something that is deliberately going against God's call on their life. What an ability that would be. - DISCERNMENT.

READER 2: "Here son, Here's your bread and fish..Take them and enjoy your lunch...and by the way, if you have the opportunity...SHARE!" -

READER 1: Does anyone see me with something to share??

READER 3: "It's perfume, very expensive, but for you, it's worth breaking open...YES, Martha, I hear you, but I am where I need to be" -

READER 1: Am I where I need to be?

READER 1: Would I exhibit confidence in what I believe as Truth?

READER 2: "I believe! I believe that even though I am carrying spices and perfumes for His body...He won't be there. He won't..I BELIEVE!" -

READER 1: Do I believe? Does someone else see me as a believer?

READER 2: Am I mistaken for a follower?
READER 3: A Christ follower?
ALL: A follower of Christ?

READER 1: Has my true identity been seen or stolen?

I just had an exciting phone call. I heard from Jim Tippens, Myrtle Beach, SC and he said that he has been reading my blog and has decided that he has enough material to produce a book of just my writing!! I am thrilled! I honestly am somewhat stunned that he or anyone else would find enough of my brain worthy of sharing. None the less, I am honored. I know that Jim's Website is www.ontheedgeproductions.org and that eventually, my book will be available for purchase. Again, I AM IN SHOCK! I am grateful and pray that God will let something that I think or feel be of usefullness or inspiration to someone. Somehow I doubt, though that I will be as famous as Bill Clinton and his newly released book...Hmmm wonder why?!?!?

It's Sunday night and Tom is packing up for Ridgecrest. I can't believe that I can't go for the week. It'll be the same next Sunday night as he is packing for Music Camp. All of these events I am having to miss because of work obligations. I know that eventually, things will change and I will not have to miss these things. I'm just thankful and grateful the this Interim church has paid his way to go...GOD IS SO GOOD...above and beyond what we deserve!! I continue to pray that God will let us stay there permanantly, but I MUST TRUST HE is in control and that his timing is perfect.

I'm going to sleep now so that I can start tomorrow...I will work and then head up to Ridgecrest for the night. If you see this Matt---Maybe I'll run into you on Monday nite...

Have you ever had one of those "FEELINGS"??? A feeling that you just can't describe, but for SOME REASON you realize that there is something you are supposed to do, but for some reason you feel like you shouldn't. I have tickets for a concert in Charlotte for the first part of July and I can't describe why, but I just feel the strongest sense of something saying DON'T GO! I really wanted to go to this, because my best friend from High School and I were going to reunite there after several years of not seeing each other. I watched an episode of Oprah a few weeks ago where a similar thing happened with a woman (who, by the way, is a strong Christian woman)and after a serious accident, she realized that she should've listened to the "GOD WHISPERS". I KNOW that God has given me the gift of discernment and I just think that I should listen! Interestingly enough (another God whisper), todays reading in Journey was on 'Listening to God's Promptings'. I don't know what the reasoning is, but I feel I MUST TRUST GOD'S WHISPERS before it becomes a LOUD ROAR!

I'm pretty frustrated right now with this BLOG source! I have tried SEVERAL times to write and post things only to find out that it doesn't post for some reason! I feel like I pour my heart and soul out and then its gone...I'm gonna see if this posts....then I'll begin the pouring process AGAIN!

Today held many interesting perspectives...Church was based on the VBS theme which kicked off for the week ahead. The theme was from Hebrews - RUN THE RACE. We were challenged in our sermon from our (FEMALE!) children's minister to Perserve and RUN THE RACE. We were also reminded of what it means to be disciplined and that just as WE do with our children, God, OUR FATHER disciplines us.

The next challenge of the day came as our daughter and fiance put furniture for their house (which they don't have yet?!?!!). They were so excited and part of me wanted and actually tried to be happy for them---but the hard part was hearing "We only have $1800 LEFT to pay by October. Somehow, we wonder if they really heard anything we said about FINANCIAL PEACE...I pray God will spare them from the same stupid mistakes we, as her parents made financially. I thought they were observing a change in us??????

Finally, we went to the Youth worship at church tonite. How beautiful to be included in a servanthood footwashing. The young student intern came around to each person there and washed our feet and thanked us for serving Jesus. How incredible! Humbling! I think a part of me was really depressed about being so detached from youth...that had been such a vital lifeline to us.

We also found out today that one guy from our former church is going to Music Camp in a couple weeks (where Tom is teaching and leading)...interestingly enough, the new minister of music there will be going as the chaperone for the guy. This could prove to be an interesting week with Tom and he together. They've been friends for a while and this could be a good opportunity for information to be shared from both of their perspectives.

I wrote something earlier and have tried a dozen times to get it to publish...I can hardly type for weeping at the prcious sight between Nancy Reagan and the children as they say their final goodbyes...

SUNSET

As I sit here watching the Burial service of President Ronald Reagan, Sunset has taken a new meaning. What a beautiful blessing to see his children share such incredible stories of LIFE and LOVE. My prayer is that one day, someday, some one will have a humorous story to remember about me, while in the same time saying that I am HOME, I am FREE. I hope that some one will think that in some fraile way I was a good mother and wife and that the best gift I could give my children, as he did, was to know with out question that Jesus is Lord and Savior.

As I sit here watching the Burial service of President Ronald Reagan, Sunset has taken a new meaning. What a beautiful blessing to see his children share such incredible stories of LIFE and LOVE. My prayer is that one day, someday, some one will have a humorous story to remember about me, while in the same time saying that I am HOME, I am FREE. I hope that some one will think that in some fraile way I was a good mother and wife and that the best gift I could give my children, as he did, was to know with out question that Jesus is Lord and Savior.


Today I didn't know whether to laugh, be frustrated or just plain angry. All of these emotions at the manipulation of an elder lady. This lady has been at the Nursing Home for several years and would appear to be to most people in normal, fine health, with the exception of an arm that isn't usable due to a stroke. She has always been one to thrive on entering every sweepstake contest and drawing that she thinks will help her win SOMETHING! She takes great pride in her monthly issue of Country Music Magazine and actually at won point won an autographed guitar from Tim McGraw. Now, back to my frustration...Last week, she received a new magazine, which I quickly figured out must have been a part of a gimmick..it was Modern Bride! DEFINITELY not something of interest to her. I took it to her asked if she was holding out on something to share with us. Needless to say, she knew that she'd received the magazine in obvious error. But then today! Today she received TWO issues of Organic Style. Upon seeing these, I knew she'd been sucked in to something. I asked her "Ruby, what happened? How did you get these?" Then came her response which infuriated me! She replied "Well, they told me I was gonna win 40 million dollars!!" When she told me this, I quickly told her that she did not get a call to tell her of a $40 million win, but a $40 million gimmick! I assured her that once she receives the bill, she will realize that there is a problem.

I will do what I can to help her get out from under this...but in the meantime I suppose I will enjoy some magazines.

If you think Faith is dependant upon being able to see and understand then your faith bucket is too small!

Well, I survived!! Today was Rachel's High School Graduation and I did really good!! I managed to only get teary-eyed once or twice. I was really proud of myself! I also was very pleased at how well the morning went in relationship to the people that we encountered. I had already made up my mind that I WAS NOT going to let the past experience at the other church effect me on Rachel's special day! I decided that whenever I saw anyone from the other church, rather than just ignore them (as they would probably do me) or rather than wait for them to acknowledge me (which they probably wouldn't), that I would just approach them first! I decided that I would just initiate conversation and let them know that LIFE IS GOING ON FOR US!! And Bless God, better than we could ever have expected. So, all in all, I was very pleased at how things went!! After graduation, we went with Chase's family to eat lunch and then Tom headed to drive cars, Chase and Rachel went their way, Jared headed back to Anderson (he'd come to watch his sister!) and I went to Walmart to exchange something that Tom didn't think I could exchange without a receipt! HA! I showed him! I came home and accessed things at my desk at work via GOTOMYPC.COM. That is SUCH a cool program! I was able to work from home just as if I were sitting at my desk!! How neat is that!

Well, It's almost time for Tom to return home and I HAVE GOT to get serious on my cracking down on not eating as much. Today, I wiped out a bunch of Chocolate cake - and NORMALLY I would NEVER eat that...I must be PMS'ing!! :-( Oh well, I've got to get a grip on it so I can lose some weight by October--MY NEXT CRUISE!! YEAH!!

Once again I've been really slack on blogging! I think that in reality I've just forgotten about it being my source of relief from stress. I would have liked to think that yesterday when I was going through some stress with my daughter that I might have remembered this...Oh well---the typical 20/20 hindsight! I suppose that as I think about it all, both Rachel and I are stressed about her graduation. I am sure that it is a stressful time for her with all that she is about to go through...but it is stressful on me as well. But, I made it through this once before, I'm sure I will again.

By the way, I don't think I mentioned that my desktop computer crashed - SUCKS!! Now we have to figure out how to get another one!