I've set the TV remote on mute
But the sounds are still here
I need to release myself to quiet,
Silence, meditation
Don't let my ears be on mute
But let me hear you loudly
Clearly, distinctly
Let the channels of my life be completely tuned in to You
Fuzz, distortions and squiggly lines will be eliminated by Your fine tuning
I will trust you to be my Chartered Communicator and the
Timeless Warner of every event that crosses my path.

I'm so ready for christmas vacation--and yet I realize that I have so much to do before that happens...There are Christmas parties, Musicals, church events, our reception...and on and on...I received a picture today from my brother and family and I really do miss them. Perhaps God is preparing us to go there...Shoot, at this point, I just wish I knew he was preparing us FOR SOMEWHERE. I know I shouldn't be depressed, but sometimes it just overwhelms me. I try to be strong...and will continue. I gave a lady I work with a ride home today and she said..."I'll be glad when you can look back and understand."...ME TOO!!

Once again, as it seems to happen so often (and more frequently here lately)...I have been in a BLOG FUNK....I suppose that as made so obvious by other readers, that my friend Matt Tullos has once again inspired. He has recently changed blog addresses and I suppose theres something to be said for a new look, a new freshness of something as simple as a blog site. In fear of being labled a copy cat (Moi?? the independant female?? Hmmm???) I may have to give his site time to settle in before I investigate myself. I will say I'm a little put out with this one, because it apparantly won't let me continue to add blogs without dropping some of the earlier ones. I think Matt has addressed this previously.

Well, I am the only one up on this last Saturday in November. Would you call it the first Saturday of Advent?? I am due a hair trim and will head there shortly. Today is also the day to put up the Christmas Tree! WHOOPIE!! In years past, I have literally LEFT HOME and let it be done when I return. There's something about the MESS from dragging it down from the attic that sends my body and brain into a psychotic fit! However, over the last few years, I have TRIED to not focus on that, but on the now limited years we have left as a family to do this....Hmmm could there be something to look forward to ... the little ceramic tree that is 2 feet tall???

I am also in a bit of shock and some of that will spill over into my holiday mode. I received word yesterday that the husband of some close friends (well, I suppose they weren't as close over the last few years, especially after our former church separation) DIED SUDDENLY! He was changing his daughters tire, got the first lug nut off and then "KEELED OVER!" (that's Killed over for the non-southerners). SO TRAGIC...He was early 40's and the father of 2 young adults. My heart aches for his family! He is at peace, but they are not at the present time I am sure.

Did I say I was in a BLOG FUNK...perhaps this lengthy note has made up somewhat....I WILL DO BETTER!!

Today was an exciting day as far as potential church prospects. I decided to call the church that had attempted to call yesterday. I asked if they had a Minister of Music and upon finding out they didn't, I asked about emailing a resume. Not long after I'd sent it, the pastor called and had a few questions, but seemed very anxious to talk to Tom when he returns on Wednesday. I called Tom and of course, he is excited. Then, Tom's dad called after having been driving through a rest stop in SC and found out that the lady working there was a member of a Baptist church who was without a Minister of Music. Pop called very excited about it and so I will be following through tomorrow with it. I also sent out the video to the TX church and we will be praying that God opens just the right door for us.

Today we didn't go to our church because they were voting on the prospect Music guy. We ended up going to Jared's church and it was really good. The pastor spoke on how it is so much more easy to Praise God in the Good times rather than the bad - DUH! We sang just before the message "BLESSED BE THE NAME" - where it says "You give and take away, My heart will choose to say, Lord Blessed be your name". We were all challeneged to remember that GOD IS GOD and that we should Decide in in advance to Decide to TRUST in GOD'S FAITHFULNESS...
Also this afternoon, a church called rerquesting a videotape of Tom. I PRAY that this may be the place God desires for us. It's only about an hour from my mom and brother.

Although I can not see you
I know you are here
Although I can not hear you
I know you are near
Although I can not feel you
I sense your peace
Although I can not Understand
I know I can trust you
I see you in your word through friends of the past
David
Issaih
Peter
Paul
I feel you in prayer through friends of the present
Susan
Matt
Jim
Betty
Lynne
Randy
I know that you are giving peace
I know that you are giving promises
I know that you are granting patience

I know that you are preparing our future

Today was a pretty tough day at church! This was the day that the announcement was made about the prospective Minister of Music and his visit to the church this week. We are still so amazed at what could possibly be the aspect that they are looking towards in this choice. Is he younger? Older? Does he have hair? Is he more talented musically? We just don't know!! All we know is that for some reason, someone ELSE has been chosen. I can't begin to tell how many people came to us all morning asking us questions, sharing their frustrations and disappointment--emotions that we too, all to well could understand. As much as we wanted to breakdown and cry, all we could do was hold our head up high with integrity and believe that because GOD IS GOD, our future is in HIS hands.

Tom's dad and his lady friend, Doris were there visiting today from Florida. Needless to say, they felt a little strange in the middle of all of today's events. Pop said that he wanted to tell the pastor what a mistake they were making, but of course he didn't, and we were glad. As hard as this is, we MUST believe that God does not create mistakes.

This will be a strange week that we will not be able to go on Wednesday nite or Sunday. This was mandated to us, and understandably so. I am sure that the new man would feel somewhat strange if we showed up. Regardless, he will be in our prayers and we KNOW we will be in the prayers of many.

I have had so many letters of encouragment over the last few days. So many people realize that our days at FBC are numbered. We love those people, our family and yet, once again we have to leave and venture out and continue our journey. I am continueously praying that God will answer our prayer to find a place to serve before long.

I received a great letter today from my brother and sister - in - law. They want to pay our expenses to come out there for Christmas! WOW how incredible!! It's been 2 years since we've seen them so this is a really special gift that they are doing not only for Christmas but for my birthday (tomorrow). We are having to wait until after we hear about the new prospect and when he will come to the church.

As always - if you read this, please pray for God to answer us soon.

A Dream...
Have I already said that I feel like I'm in a dream??? I just read our church bulletin announcing the man to come....it still seems kinda like I'm dreaming all of this...Hmmm when will this make any sense??

Tonite was the BIG ANNOUNCEMENT nite!! The choir was informed tonite that next week, they will have a new person here to work with them who will also be there the following Sunday in view of a call. My hope is that someone will feel for us, for our feelings and what we will do next. My hope is that someone will determine to pray for us and commit to hold us up for God to give us the place he desires for us to serve. I just pray that God will open the door for us and that it will happen while we are still at this church. I continue to think about what will we do if we're without a place to be seen by another church.

God I pray that you would let me not be concerned about the pety things or the things that I think I should expect to happen in our future. I pray that my faith would be strong and evident. I have to remember that of my Spiritual Gifts, Faith and encouragement are mine...Please let me exhibit that and not be a poor example.

I have really become slack over the last few days. Initially, I was just tired, lazy and all those other excuses, and days went by. I will say this, that God (as if we didn't know this) is always so good about giving us some encouragement prior to our need of it. We may THINK we know why we are hearing some special word or something, but not until later do we often realize all the 'why's'. I can say that with an ASK ME HOW I KNOW reality. This weekend I was BLESSED to get to attend the Women of Faith Conference in Charlotte. I just thought that I knew why God wanted me there...to encourage me through all we've gone through over the last year in Tom's loss of a church and to remind me THAT THERE IS HOPE in our savior. I didn't realize that this was going to be encouragement needed and necessary for the next few days.

Sunday was a very tough day! I left the first service in TEARS because of the sermon. It was all based on "KNOW YOUR GIFTS". Learn what your gifts are and how God wants you to use them. I sat there and cried as I internally screamed out to God "I KNOW, WE KNOW our gifts. We know what you've called us to and we know how you have so generously enabled us to fullfill them---BUT WHERE??? Where do we do it!! Then between the 2 services, the pastor approached Tom and said "The committee has worked faster than I expected and we have a man coming to work with the choir a week from Wed, and to be voted on the following Sunday -11/14" Tom slipped me a note to that effect during the beginnging of the 2nd service sermon. I was already struggling with how I was going to listen to that again, and NOW I am really gonna struggle!

I am just so confused - and YES, I KNOW that God is NOT the author of confusion. I KNOW all the words and songs to give encouragement, but sometimes they just seem like like letters that have been thrown up in the air and landed in somesort of illegible formation. I was also reminded that others are crying out to God as well so I shouldn't think my concerns are the most significant. I realize they are important to God, but I also know that others, like my dear friend whose daughter is in jail, are also crying out to God. She shared some very wise words to me that I hope to remember and ultimately use as a writing tool....

God, please help me to remember that I don't need to try to tell you how to write the script for my life!