I have really become slack over the last few days. Initially, I was just tired, lazy and all those other excuses, and days went by. I will say this, that God (as if we didn't know this) is always so good about giving us some encouragement prior to our need of it. We may THINK we know why we are hearing some special word or something, but not until later do we often realize all the 'why's'. I can say that with an ASK ME HOW I KNOW reality. This weekend I was BLESSED to get to attend the Women of Faith Conference in Charlotte. I just thought that I knew why God wanted me there...to encourage me through all we've gone through over the last year in Tom's loss of a church and to remind me THAT THERE IS HOPE in our savior. I didn't realize that this was going to be encouragement needed and necessary for the next few days.

Sunday was a very tough day! I left the first service in TEARS because of the sermon. It was all based on "KNOW YOUR GIFTS". Learn what your gifts are and how God wants you to use them. I sat there and cried as I internally screamed out to God "I KNOW, WE KNOW our gifts. We know what you've called us to and we know how you have so generously enabled us to fullfill them---BUT WHERE??? Where do we do it!! Then between the 2 services, the pastor approached Tom and said "The committee has worked faster than I expected and we have a man coming to work with the choir a week from Wed, and to be voted on the following Sunday -11/14" Tom slipped me a note to that effect during the beginnging of the 2nd service sermon. I was already struggling with how I was going to listen to that again, and NOW I am really gonna struggle!

I am just so confused - and YES, I KNOW that God is NOT the author of confusion. I KNOW all the words and songs to give encouragement, but sometimes they just seem like like letters that have been thrown up in the air and landed in somesort of illegible formation. I was also reminded that others are crying out to God as well so I shouldn't think my concerns are the most significant. I realize they are important to God, but I also know that others, like my dear friend whose daughter is in jail, are also crying out to God. She shared some very wise words to me that I hope to remember and ultimately use as a writing tool....

God, please help me to remember that I don't need to try to tell you how to write the script for my life!